The Expendables Behind The Scenes Video

Yeah, so it's another slow news day. I could post a link to a bootlegged Transformer 2 trailer that will be pulled down in a matter of hours, post about Madonna having swine flu (and I shit you not that's an actual story going around today) or post this behind the scenes footage of The Expendables. Well answer seems obvious until you see the masturbatory, tedious, and just plain weird steaming pile of pap, some genius thought would be great PR. Of course, I'm posting it, so who's the sucker? Anyway, in it you get to see Eric Roberts jump like a girl, Stalllone terrorizing the crew with a prop pistol, and Stallone trying to invent the next Internet meme by saying, "That's sex." That line sounds creepy enough. Now imagine it coming out of Stallone's mouth. Right? Time for a shower. Anyway, enjoy. Or don't. But this is what you're getting today.

PS3 Owners to Become The Joker

How cool is this. If you have a PS3 and get that consoles version of Arkham Asylum, you will be instantly able to download for free, The Joker.

Now you can't play as The Joker in the main game, but as him in the Challenge Maps. No real news is out yet on what those maps are, but still, you get to be The Joker and kick ass. That is awesome. While it's a fun and cool concept to be Batman and save the city and do the right thing and never drink or swear and always fold your laundry as soon as it's out of the drier, it's even more cool to be The Joker. Killing and maiming with blatant disregard.

No news yet on if the xBox will have an exclusive character, but it's a safe bet there will be one. Hopefully they play this one off like they did with Soul Caliber 4 and after some time you can download the other consoles character. I do not want to have to go buy a PS3 just so I can reap Joker fueled havoc. I get more and more excited about this game by the day!

Fox in Jonah Hex

You know how it is around here at The Nothing Files. News gets slow, but you can always count on Megan Fox to have some new, hot picture to help you get through the day.

To the right you see Fox in costume and on set of Jonah Hex. The movie is Warner Bros. adaptation of DC Comics popular book of the same name. Josh Brolin is Hex who has a partially disfigured face and normally wears a confederate uniform. Fox is playing Hex's girlfriend. Lucky bastard.

The film is shooting right now, and Warner Bros. is planning on a August 6, 2010 release.

Testify!

The newest Nothing Files podcast is recorded!

You're welcome.

In the new episode expect the strangest shit ever. A new contributor joins our hero's Nick and Thom and it gets weird quick. Sure there's a movie review, and some album picks, but there's also the best knock knock joke you've ever heard, and stories of our heroes peeing on ex-girlfriends.

I said it gets weird.

The gauntlet is also thrown for a future Nothing Files which will mark our first venture into DVD audio commentary. So keep your eye here. I'll let you know as soon as it's live. And if you haven't heard the audio compendium to The Nothing Files website, then you're not getting the whole story. Go to iTunes and search Nothing Files. Hit subscribe, then sit back and let our degradation and depravity wash over you like a baptism of filth and awesomeness. And as always. You're welcome. And this one has no Jon. Again, you're welcome.

Crank 2: High Voltage

Jason Statham is back as Chev Chelios. And it's fucking awesome. The first movie was know for its comic book style violence and it's over the top, indestructible hero, and this one raises the bar.

Again, at the end of the first one Chev dies. But he got better. What really happened is after falling to the earth from a helicopter, Chev is picked up by the Chinese Triads. See, his heart is so strong that they want it for their leader, Poon Dong. He's like 100 and is basically a god to them, and since Chev survived their poison, he has the perfect, strong heart to keep Poon Dong alive. So he's given a fake heart with a shitty battery. Bad fucking idea. Criminals. If you want to kill Chev Chelios, shoot him point blank in the fucking head. If you give him any chance to regain consciousness, he will kill the shit out of you.

In the last Crank film, Chev had to keep his adrenaline up to counteract the drug and stay alive. In this one, he has to keep an electrical charge, to keep his heart beating. This leaves Chev to shock the fuck out of himself at any given opportunity. If you thought Crank had some hot chicks and a good amount of nudity and some sweet action, this installment will make you shit yourself. Chev Chelios is the baddest motherfucker ever, and he will stop at nothing to get his bloody vengeance.

The cast also has Amy Smart, Dwight Yoakam, Efren Ramirez, Ling Bai, David Carradine, Corey Haim, Geri Halliwell, Maynard James Keenan, Lloyd Kaufman and Ron Jeremy. Yep. Best fucking cast ever.

Normally I would break down the movie piece by piece and tell you what was cool and what didn't work that great. Guess what? It was all awesome. The Crank series is quickly becoming one of the greatest action series of all time. Thank you, Jason Statham. Thank you for being a huge bad ass and making really dumb awesome action films. One standout scene I will mention briefly is Chev and Eve (Amy Smart) on the track at the Hollywood horse track, fucking in every position you could imagine. Yep. Go see this fucking movie. Hot chicks, fast cars, and the baddest motherfucker on the planet. That's all I have to say. Long live Crank!

Who Ya Gonna Call?

This will be a day long remembered. The day we posted the trailer for the new Ghostbusters game, due out this June. Now the Ghostbusters have a long history of crappy games, and given everything I've heard about this one, the mold is about to be broken.

The game features the original cast to the film, and the animations look fucking amazing. You're a Ghostbuster, going through Manhattan, busting ghosts. Super awesome.

Amazon is even releasing a limited edition Slimer Version of the game, featuring;

An exclusive 10" Slimer bust designed and created by the original movie sculptor, Steve Johnson. Comes complete with a certificate of authenticity signed by the sculptor himself.
Exclusive Ghostbusters Minimates. Only be available with the Slimer Edition.
Exclusive Ghostbusters Gamer Graffix Console Skins.
Exclusive Ecto 1 Key Chain with lights and sound.

And all that will only set you back $129.99!

Ok, that's kind of a lot. But still cool.

Anyway, here it is. The Ghostbusters The Game trailer!

H2 Trailer

I know I've been bashing H2 like Rhianna sitting shotgun and I still HATE the decision not to use Michael Myers iconic mask. But...fuck. The trailer looks decent, mostly. Sherri Moon dressed up like a goth ghost screams ten different types of lame. And I hope Malcolm McDonald got a hand job with that mustache he's sporting but other than that....not bad. The cinematography looks gorgeous and we get to see a snippet of Nothing Files fave, Danielle Harris. And the whole thing kind of looks, well, scary. Well done, Mr. Zombie. You've thrown together a nice looking trailer. Hopefully your movie will live up to it.

Robert Rodriguez

Robert Rodriguez has been busy. It looks like he'll be producing and directing a reboot of the Predator franchise that he's calling Predators.

In Rodriguez's Predators a teem of commandos will face down a mysterious race of vicious monsters.

Cool.

Rodriguez is also looking at a June start date to his Grindhouse feature, Machete. Fans of the site will remember the Machete film features Danny Trejo who is an ex-federale that is hired by an American senator to kill someone and is double crossed. It's a sweet revenge film. Well, I guess with Red Sonja on hold indefinitely, it's good to hear that Robert still has some sweet pictures in the works.

Dreyfuss Joins Piranha 3D

In news that will surely send Thom into joygasims, Richard Dreyfuss will again fight killer fish!

Fortunately it's not a Jaws remake that I'm talking about, but that Dreyfuss will have a cameo in Piranha 3D. Purportedly, Dreyfuss' character will be used as a homage to Jaws. He'll even drink Amity beer. Nice.

Dreyfuss joins Adam Scott, Elisabeth Shue and Ving Rhames in the Alex Aja directed film. Filming should begin next month in Arizona.

Nancy

So, looks like the Nightmare on Elm Street remake has found it's Nancy. Reports are that Rooney Mara (Urban Legends: Bloody Mary) is in final talks with New Line and Platinum Dunes new remake.

Mara joins Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy, Kyle Gallner as Quentin and Thomas Dekker as Jesse, the current lineup for the movie thus far.

Currently the shooting is planned to start in Chicago next month and a release date of April 16th 2010 is slated.

Man, I really hope these guys don't fuck this one up. I can't stress that enough.

Friday The 13th Remake DVD

Man, it seems like I just saw this in theaters, and now I'm gonna be able to watch it at home. Well at least I will be able to on June 16th.

The DVD, both the Blu-Ray and standard, will have the theatrical version of the film, as well as a Killer Cut version. A directors cut with eight additional minutes of carnage. You'll also get a Rebirth of Jason Voorhees featurette and Slashed Scenes, deleted scenes from the film. Now those of you with a Blu-Ray will also get Terror Trivia Track, a making of picture-in-picture option, Hacking Back/Slashing Forward featurette about the original Friday and The Best 7 Kills behind the scenes featurette.

While it's always possible more special features will still be added, that's the word as of right now.

I've got really mixed feelings on this movie. I know Thom loved it, and I didn't dislike it. Something just felt a bit off to me. Well, at least I'll get to watch an extended directors cut at home. I'll hold off my final judgement until then.

Halloween 2; Yep, Still More News...

So, you sick of Rob Zombies Halloween 2 yet? I sure as fuck am. But the news keeps coming out there, and you all still seem to care about it somewhat, so I'll keep on truckin'. Horror Mecca Entertainment Tonight just released a video with some scenes from the August releasing film. Now on the video I'm gonna play, the guy who posted it follows the short with the footage in slow motion with no sound, so you can get excited/pissed about every fucking frame of it. Thanks obsessive fan.

And just in case you thought we were done with that Unkle Seymore Coffins fucker, nope. Here's what Zombie has to say about this...

"Emily Touth, everyone's favorite intern from Channel 18, has finally paid Uncle Seymour $5000.00 bar tab and hotel fee at the Casa del Sol in Tijuana and in return received Seymour cell phone back from the hotel manager. Well, dozens of pics were recovered from the phone documenting Seymour wild Mexican adventure. We feel it is our duty to his fans to make these public."

Fuck, thanks. Here's the dip shitty picture. Now will someone kill this guy off already.

Batman: Arkham Asylum

So if you follow the site at all, you should know how excited I am for this damn video game. You get to be Batman and fight every villain in Arkham Asylum. That sounds great. And the thing looks visually interesting too. For those of you that don't spend hours a day scouring the internets looking for entertaining things to put up on your website, I've got some videos here for the game featuring some of my favorite villains. So here you go, I waste my afternoons so you don't have to.

The State

That's fucking right! The State is finally coming to DVD. I'm so happy about this. MTV's The State has remained my favorite comedy show of all time. Other than The State's Skits and Stickers (Stickers Not Included) (the groups VHS tape) and some low quality videos I've downloaded from the internets I haven't seen The State in years.

For those of you unfamiliar with The State and its awesomeness, here's a video clip. Now pre-order the DVD. It'll be one of the best decisions you've made this year.

Hunter Prey Trailer

So the question you probably asked yourself when you read the title of this post is, "What is Hunter Prey?" And the answer is, it's the coolest movie that you probably two things about. Jack and shit. Hunter Prey is the first feature film from Sandy Collora. If that name doesn't ring any bells that's alright, but I bet if you're any sort of geek at all, you're already familiar with his work. He's the genius behind the short films Batman: Dead End and World's Finest. So yeah. That guy. In Hunter Prey, Mr. Collora starts his own I.P. and goes sci-fi. And from the trailer it looks like he goes kick ass, seventies style, gritty, popcorn, sci-fi. See in the seventies filmmakers used to actually make movies (and genre movies specifically) that weren't based on comics or video games or previous genre films. Yeah, I know. Weird. And it looks like Mr. Collora is trying to bring sexy back (it's sunday, give me a break, I even winced at that). Basically the trailer looks like a bunch of Mandolarians (except they're not) hunting down John Rambo (except he's a green alien) in the desert. Anyway, click play for the goodness.

Eli Roth

Just last night, my friends and I were talking about Eli Roth and wondering what his next project was. Well here it is...

Roth is planning to make a big budget horror film on the caliber of Transformers or Cloverfield.

"I don’t want to say what [the monster is] yet. Once it gets set up, I will let everyone know. It is not aliens or robots or a virus - it’s a little more grounded. But when people hear it they are going to be like ‘That is going to be insane!’" Roth told MTV in a recent interview.

The script is almost done and Roth is wanting to do the movie for about $80 million. Now that's exciting and all, but even more exciting is what Roth said he wants to do after the big budget film is made.

“The plan is this: I want to do a huge budget movie, but tack on three weeks to the end of it and shoot ‘Thanksgiving.’ I want to do an $80 million dollar movie, and then schedule three weeks at the end to quickly shoot a $5 million dollar movie.”

That's right. Roth is planning to make a full length film out of his Grindhouse trailer for Thanksgiving. So fucking awesome. Get to it Eli, I cannot wait for this one.

Green Team!

Ok, with all this Halloween 2 shit depressing the hell out of me, I thought it was time for something funny. So here's another great video from Funny or Die. And not only is it funny. It's environmentally aware. That's important these days.

Green Team from Will Ferrell

Michael Myers

Well, here he is. Here's Michael in the mask from Halloween 2. Who knows how long in the movie Michael will have the mask on. Who knows if this isn't just filmed for another fucking flashback.

What we do know is that principal photography is done on the film. "Well, after 35 days of snow, freezing rain, fire ants, mud and blood we are done! The cast and crew kick ass beyond ass to bring you the most demented Halloween ever! In less than five months Michael will be back in your face! And speaking of face... here is your first glimpse of one of the many faces Michael 2009" says Zombie.

So there you have it. Here is what you want Michael Myers to look like the whole film, but how he will only look for probably ten minutes of it. But don't worry. Weird Al is going to be in the movie too. He's gonna make fun of Loomis on a TV show while Loomis is trying to sell his book. And you were starting to get worried that this movie was turning ridiculous and was going to suck...

AMC TV just added some interviews from key players around Halloween 2. Here are those too.

Zach Galifianakis Will Strangle Your Kitten

Good morning, all you Internet deviants. Today is a slow news day and I'm feeling too fucking lazy to write a review of something, not that I've really seen or read anything of late to inspire a review. So guess what? That's right. It's time to post some videos!! So full disclosure, Zach Galifianakis gets me hard in ways I usually reserve for comic book writers (Ed Brubaker is a sexy, husky man) and Brazilian salsa dancers (don't ask). I just find his dark, self loathing humor hilarious. And if you don't know who he is, type his name into youtube and marvel at his nuggets of hilarity. So for today, I present two ZG vids. The first being a trailer for the movie The Hangover. This movie looks hilarious. And have you noticed that I'm using the word hilarious a lot? Usually I would look up another word in the thesaurus or actually devote a brain cell or two to try and think up something else as to avoid repetition, but not today, sinners. As I've said I'm feeling fucking lazy. So hilarious is the word of the day. So anyway, the trailer for this looks hilarious. ZG taking care of a baby? Hilarious. Mike Tyson? Hilarious. So enjoy. The second video is a for Kanye West's song "Can't Tell Me Nothing" and for some sick reason I have watched this video over and over again. I really can't get enough of it. It's brilliant. So kick back and revel in the genius of Zach Galifianakis.

More From Uncle Seymore Coffins

Ok, originally I didn't like Seymore Coffins. Now I hate this dude. He's supposed to be like one of the old Fright Feature hosts (like Elvira was most famously) who had late night horror movie shows. But he just acts like a douche. Seriously. I want to see this guy get beat up. Not even necessarily the character of Coffins. I'd be happy to see some one kick the crap out of the actor playing this guy. Actually I'd love if they did one more of these and had Otis from House of 1000 Corpses show up and just dismember the motherfucker. You may remember Bill Mosley who played Otis was originally up for the part, but couldn't do it due to a scheduling conflict. Anyway, here's the latest from lame Uncle Coffins. If this is in any way indicative of the direction of Halloween 2, all hope is lost.
Creature Double-Feature The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Two New Star Trek Clips

Two new Star Trek clips have hit the web today and they look awesome. The first gives us an introduction to Bones. The second we get to see a young Kirk. And both of them totally feel right. Like these are the characters we love. I have high hopes for this film. The word from the world premiere in Austin has been nothing short of fantastic. And don't forget the prequel graphic novel comes out today. It really bridges the last Star Trek movie with the one coming up. Expect lots of The Next Generation cameos in it. Of course if you don't feel like running to the comic store, you can always buy all four issues from the iPhone App Store for 99  cents apiece. They're really quite good. Anyway, set phasers to Nerd Boner and enjoy the clips. 

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Michael Myers Mask-less Nearly All of H2

What's up Nothing File Freaks. Thom here and I'm back. By the way, all your moms say hello. To say I've been a little busy is like saying Morrisey is a little gay. But I know Nick has been taking good care of all you dirty sinners so I don't feel so bad. I'm still busy but I'm going to try and throw up a couple posts a week. And by throw up I mean write in my highly sophisticated and eloquent prose and not merely vomit some pop culture nugget gleamed from some other site. So here we go.

So I was reading this other site and I came across this pop culture nugget. Wayne Toth, the make-up artist from the H2, Rob Zombie's Halloween sequel, has stated that Michael Myers is going to be mask-less for seventy percent of the film. Um...what the fuck?!!?? He's going to appear as a "bearded, disheveled hulk" for most of the time. But don't despair Halloween fans. He is going to end up in his mask again at the end. But there's a catch. Wayne Toth elaborates:

"There are a couple different versions of the mask, but none of them are the same mask from the first film. He wanted to take them a step further, even though one of them is supposed to be basically the last mask. We've changed it anyway. Then towards the end of the film is the current version of the mask which is a lot different from any of them we've seen. People are going to be surprised when they see it. It's gonna throw the Myers fans for a loop."

So let me break it down for you. Michael Myers is basically going to look like a 'roided out version of Rob Zombie for the majority of the film and then when he finally dons a mask, it's not going to be the iconic Halloween mask fans love. Do you ever get the feeling that Devil's Rejects was just a fluke? I mean I usually go soft on Rob Zombies first Halloween remake because I'm a fan of Rob Zombie. But fuck that. Enough is enough. The scales have fallen from my eyes. Rob Zombie's Halloween sucked and sucked hard. It sucked like a toothless hooker at a dental convention. That heavy handed tripe with Michael Myers childhood is fucking embarrassing. His mommy stripping to the song "Love Hurts?" Embarrassing. Myers and Loomis' scenes in the mental hospital? Embarrassing! Super fucking embarrassing! Do you get the feeling that the producers of this franchise are terrified of Rob Zombie? Like they can't tell him no?  Like they can't tell him his ideas are terrible? Well, let me be do the producers job right now. Mr. Zombie, your ideas are bad. And not slightly bad. Not like move the Punisher's origin to Miami bad. But more on the level of having a Darth Vader movie where Darth Vader is an eight year old race car champion bad. It is time to go back to music Mr. Zombie. We will alway have The Devil's Rejects and thank you for that. But it is time to move on. This  whole film thing is harder than it looks. You make great music. Focus on where your talent lies. Thank you for your time Mr. Zombie. Good night and good luck.

Perkins' 14

So I watched a few movies, here's one that didn't suck as bad. Perkins' 14 is not a replacement for Perkins restaurants tremendous twelve. It is however a motivated-zombie film written by Lane Shadgett (Lunar Park, All Lost Souls) and directed by Craig Singer (Dark Ride, Kill Charlie). What first turned me on to the film was when I read in an interview with ex-Misfits frontman Michale Graves, that it would be the first horror film he would be in.

The film follows the story of Dwayne Hopper (Patrick O'Kane; Exorcist: The Beginning) who is a cop in a small town. He's haunted years ago because of the string of local abductions. His own son was one of the 14 to be taken and the perpetrator was never caught. So he's kind of fucked up about that. His marriage is falling apart and he drinks on the job. They end up picking up Ronald Perkins (Richard Brake; Halloween 2, Hannibal Rising) for some traffic thing or something and he's overnight in the lockup. Hopper thinks that Perkins is weird and starts checking up on him. He gets one of his buddies on the force to break into his house. Through all this, he finds out that Perkins is the abductor from years ago. He blows his fucking head off. Good work, buddy. His dumbass partner inadvertently releases all the kids, now grown, that Perkins has been keeping in his basement.

So while all this is going on Dwayne's wife, Daisy (Shayla Beesley; Speak of the Devil, Sex and the USA), is in a hotel fucking some other guy. Dwayne's daughter, Janine (Mihaela Mihut; Lurid Tales: The Castle Queen) is off trying to fuck local guitarist Eric Ross (Michale Graves; The Misfits) in the graveyard. Dwayne's life really sucks. So now that all these Perkins abductees are lose, they start fucking everyone up. They're pretty much zombies at this point, given all the mindwashing and drugs that Perkins has given to them over the last 15 or so years. They are pissed and don't seem to be deterred by getting shot or stabbed. Fuck. So Dwayne hunts down his family and gets all their slutty asses back together. He also brings Eric along because a kind-of-zombie cut his guitar playing hand something fierce. They end up back at the police station where Eric gets disemboweled in a pretty awesome way. Then the mom gets shredded. Not a banner day for Dwayne. So he's convinced that he can make contact with Kyle, his abducted son who is now a zombie killer and he locks Janine in the slammer so she will be safe. He has a touching moment with Kyle, trying to bring him back to humanity before Kyle breaks his neck. He then goes and blows his sister away with a shotgun. The moral of the movie seems to be, never trust zombies.

Now this is the first After Dark's 8 Films to Die For movie that I've seen, and I liked it for the most part. Yea, at times it seemed to drag on and there were defiantly slow parts, but it's a pretty cool concept and there were some neat deaths and way too much blood. That's always nice. One of the things I didn't like the most about it was the special features. The first of only two options was to watch webisodes of the Search For Miss Horrorfest, which other than one or two, were pretty much awful and unwatchable. I'd heard of the whole deal before, and maybe this was just a bad set, but it was awful. They reminded me of early nineties music videos from WaxTrax, but at least those were for awesome bands. These just sucked. Anyway, Perkins' 14 is a pretty awesome new horror movie that has a somewhat original plot. You should check it out. Trust me, you could do a lot worse.

Zombies Zombies Zombies!

Well, I pretty much fucked up my foot today changing the tire on my Jeep, so I thought it was a good night to sit down and catch up on some movies.  That said I watched Zombies Zombies Zombies! Strippers Vs Zombies.  Hell, I've already reviewed Zombie Strippers on here, so what the fuck.

Ok, Zombie Strippers was actually pretty cool.  This movie sucked fuck.  This time some freaky scientist guy is trying to make an anti-cancer vaccination, but accidentally gives it to this fat fuck thinking it's his anti-crack drug.  So this dude smokes it with this prostitute next to the strip club and she steals some from him.  Then she and her buddy smoke some more.  Good plan.  The shit looks like kryptonite.  Why wouldn't you smoke it?  So the hookers and this fat fuck turn into zombies, cause that's what happens if you smoke anti-cancer medicine.  

So this pimp that's kind of funny and a new stripper and her brother and a bunch of other strippers and the guy who runs the strip club and a strippers kind-of boyfriend hold up in the strip club.  It's appropriately named the Grindhouse.  All these other motherfuckers end up becoming zombies too.  It's up to these lonely few to fight the anti-cancer med smoking zombies and their hords.  Well, the brother goes with a stripper to find the doctor who made the meds to find an antidote.  When they get there, of course he has the antidote, but they all get attacked by a zombie prostitute and the brother gets the antidote injected into his stomach.  Upon their return, the only way he can save who's left is by letting the zombies eat him, cause he's the living antidote and all.  Fuck.

So not only does this movie have the worst editing I've ever seen, but the strippers are the worst strippers ever.  Most don't strip at all.  They just dance for a minute and a half then leave the stage with the clothes they came on with.  They're talking about all the money they make, but when they leave the stage, they're picking up like $5.  I'm sorry.  I know some strippers.  These are not strippers.  And as lame as that is, the editing still sucks more.  I can't even explain the fucked editing in this one.  You just have to see it to understand.  It's not like the acting is good, but it's eclipsed by the fucking awful editing.  It's like to save money they let the film be edited as a class project at an inner city public school.  Actually, it's worse than that.  Now, normally when I talk about a movie, I give the actors and writer and director and shit, not this time.  Cause I don't give a fuck and I don't think you will either.  I can't imagine the point I'll be at in life where I think, oh, that movie, that's from the guy who did Zombies Zombies Zombies!  I should check that out.  

Also the box of the movie compares it to Shaun of the Dead.  Nope.  It also says that it's wicked funny.  Nope.  It's kind of funny, and I get that the film doesn't take itself seriously, but it's still not that funny.  I kind of liked Zombie Strippers before this movie, now I really appreciate it.  Zombies Zombies Zombies! is the kind of movie that you watch fucked up with your buddies, and that's really the only time I can recommend it.  With original "horror" like this coming out, it's no wonder that remakes are all the rage now.

War Inc

So I just heard about War, Inc.  It's gonna drop on DVD soon.  Now one of my favorite movies ever is Say Anything.  I'm a big John Cusack fan.  Lloyd Dobler kicks ass.  Now it's not hard to see Grosse Point Blank as a loose sequel to Say Anything.  Parents weren't around cause they were in the military.  A kid who doesn't know what to do with his life.  It's not hard to see Lloyd Dobler end up as an assassin for hire.  

Now comes War, Inc.  From the trailer it pretty much looks like another loose film in the Lloyd Dobler story.  This time it looks to be a follow up to Grosse Point Blank.  Sure, Cusack's character name keeps changing, but it's not hard to see them as a trilogy.  

So again, I just heard about this one, but it sounds pretty cool, even though Hillary Duff is in it.  When it comes out I'll check it out and let you know more.

April Fools

Ok, April Fools day sucks. It's the day you go on the web or whatever and everything is a fake story to fuck with you. Well guess what? Most of these movie sites are guessing or taking informed guesses at what is really going on anyway, so in essence, we're always making up stuff to kind of fuck with you, but we try to make it sound like we know what's going on. And what's more the storys are never that funny. So fuck April Fools day. What we're going to do here is post a video that's actually funny from a new friend I made. And it's days after April Fools day while I'm posting this! How fucking topical is that! So here's an early April thing that's actually funny. Fuck April Fools day!

The New Freddy

According to Bloody-Disgusting, Jackie Earl Haley almost locked in as the new Freddy Krueger.

Ok, so Rorschach is Freddy. We could do worse. Evidently Haley is in final talks to take up the role. An official announcement is expected next week.

Man, this is so bittersweet. I hope they don't fuck it up. At least this remake wasn't made in the '90's. Then Freddy would probably come to kids in their dreams and breakdance and have an oversized gun or something. Maybe the new Freddy sweater can have nipples, or rather than one glove he can wear two. You know, twice the terror. Fuck. I have no hope left.

New Tyler Mane Video

Hey, there's a new Halloween 2 The Devil Walks Among Us video on the nets. Weird. So in this one it's Tyler Mane again, but this time he actually talks! He takes us over to Rob Zombies trailer to see the new Michael Myers mask... But he never does. Dick. Also, notice how the nice scotch he got goes from an 18 year to a 12 year in the story. In his defence, Macallan does make both, but come on man, keep your scotches straight. Anyway, there is really no pay off to this video, but it's kind of funny. Here you go.
Tyler Mane answers FAQ and we take a look at the new mask!

Eve Vs. Hack/Slash

The other day I told you about a movie that is basically Hack/Slash with a different name. Well it appears that Eve is pretty much just that; a title change.

In Hack/Slash, Cassy Hack is aided by Vlad and together they hunt down slashers, superhuman serial killers. She is driven into doing this because her single mother became a slasher and killed a bunch of the kids at her school. She killed her mom and went fort to reap bloody vengeance on any slasher she could find. She's fighting for redemption, feeling that it's partly her fault that her mom got all slashery, and she fears that she could enter the darkness and become a slasher too.

Here's what Upcoming Horror Movies posted as a synopsis of Eve; "The film is set in an alternate, more seedy Los Angeles. After discovering her father was the deadliest serial killer of all time, Evelyn makes the decision to track down every psycho she can get her hands on. But these are no ordinary killers, they have supernatural advantages to them - something she must learn to adapt to. She also must learn as to why they are gathering in this city and what their evil intentions are while having to reconcile with her own past."

Fuck. That's pretty much Hack/Slash. Hack/Slash is an awesome comic with super cool tie ins to Chucky and other famous Hollywood killers. I'm going to be so pissed off if they make this Eve film and it sucks so the studios back off on Hack/Slash. Way to go, fuckwads. Ruining it for the rest of us. This is like when Vanilla Ice stole the beat to Queens Under Pressure then tried to say that his was way different. Fuck.

Revenge of the Fallen

Here is a poster that breaks down who all the Autobots and Decepticons will be in the new Transformers movie. Enjoy.

Jonah Hex News

The Hollywood Reporter has news that Will Arnett from Arrested Development and Michael Shannon from Dead Birds have joined the cast of Johah Hex.

The DC comic is a horror/western title and already has John Malkovich as the villain, Josh Brolin as Hex and Megan Fox as his hot girlfriend. Sounds like good casting so far to me. I haven't heard what roles Arnett and Shannon are playing, but I hope they're good ones.

The filming begins later this month.

Uncle Seymore Coffins TV Ad

Evidently Uncle Seymore Coffins is a huge fucking douchebag. Watching this really makes me wish that Bill Mosley could have filled the role and not been obligated elsewhere. I hope that Michael Myers kills the shit out of this ass.
Uncle Seymore Coffins' Creature Double-Feature