First H2 Image

Rob Zombie has released the first production image from H2. As you can see, it's Taylor Compton as Laurie Strode, minutes after the end of the last film, being taking into an emergency room.

"Well, we made it through the first three days. Everything is going great. This film is going to blow away my last trip to Haddonfield. Ultra gritty, ultra intense and very real." says Zombie.

Very real? I'm interested to see how Michael is going to be dealt with since it pretty much looked like Strode blew his fucking head off at the end of the first one. We'll keep posting updates on this one up until the August 28th release.

Good luck, Laurie. Hope this isn't the last one of these we see you in until the series goes so astray they need to bring you back in a much later sequel to re-invigorate fan interest.

Casting Begins For Nightmare Remake

So the official casting call for the new Nightmare on Elm Street remake is out. I'm going to post it, but first I want to talk about it. I really really really hope they do this one well. I have to say, I'm feeling good after watching the Friday the 13th remake. They did a pretty decent job of making a Jason movie with that one. While I don't know how sold I am on backwoodsy survivalist Jason, who's blond and runs, it was still pretty cool.

Ok, I really don't know how I feel about that, but fuck it. That's the thing, so many different actors played Jason, we're used to seeing different interpretations of him. Different make up artists made him look different on different films, and the actors each gave unique traits to him. But only one guy ever has been Freddy. Sure, the make up changed a bit from the original through the series, but the idea stayed basically the same. It was always Englund, always with the burnt face, ratty sweater, fedora and iconic razor glove. Now it's going to be someone else. And it's not even like Jason, how he almost always wore a mask. Freddy is a burnt up guy who's face you always see. Fuck. I'm really nervous about this. Freddy is up there with Jason, Pinhead and Herbert West as my favorite horror characters of all time. I really hope they get this casting right, because that's really going to determine how much the fans, myself included, get behind this remake. I hope to fuck it's not Billy Bob donning the glove...

[FREDDY KRUEGER] (40s) The fedora-wearing villain of children’s nightmares. He'’s taunting and vindictive. He's the last person you want to see in your dreams...

[KRIS] 18, attractive, hot, sexy and confident. She’s smart and curious. She's also the type of girl who has to figure things out when they don't make sense...

[QUENTIN] (18) Mysterious, smart and cool. Think indie type guy. He runs the school podcast, “Insomnia Radio”. Think Johnny Depp...

[NANCY] (18) Attractive, interesting, and intriguing. Very smart. Not terribly social. There’s one in every class. The pretty-girl image is not her priority. Getting out of town after graduation is...

[DEAN] (18) He's the school jock. Attractive. He'’s the kid that lives in the two-story home on the street that screams “Rich Suburbia.” He’s the guy that everyone seems to love...

[JESSE] (18) – Alpha male. Cool, attractive. He used to date Kris, and he’s still trying to get back together – even though they’ve broken up about 4 times already...

Fuck

H2; More Myers History

So, how many of you thought that Rob Zombie's Halloween remake would have been a lot better without all that young Michael bullshit. Like, old Michael kicked ass, that part of the movie was pretty sweet, but all the explaining about his troubled home life and how he was a weird white trash kid that started killin' just left me kind of dry. I don't need to know why Michael is as he is. I just want to know that he's ridiculously crazy and will kill everyone. Fucking everyone. The Shape doesn't need a backstory and history as to why he is how he is, right? You don't see them doing a Jaws remake and starting with the shark watching his mother get killed by some drunken teenagers out night shark shooting, do you?

Well, if you were looking forward to H2 hoping this would just be a straight up Michael killing people movie, you're straight fucked. Here's the casting call Zombie just put out;

[BOY] 8 to 11 years old, Caucasian, blond hair, blue eyes (long hair a plus), no taller than 4-foot-10. There's a veneer of innocence about him, but he's ultimately revealed to be very dangerous. We need a very capable young actor who is able to be both threatening and vulnerable...STRONG SUPPORTING ROLE

Fuck. So I already know that Daeg Faerch, the boy Michael from the first remake, will be on set for some flashback scenes. But Daeg is a growing boy. Fuck he grew during Halloween. From what I've seen of him lately, he's tall as fuck. So he'll be older flashback Michael, and I'm guessing this kid they're trying to cast is younger flashback Michael. Rumor is Zombie is doing this one with a lot of flashbacks, possibly why Danielle Harris is being brought back on board for this one.

So if you were looking for a straight up Myers slasher with him kicking ass without any apologising and letting you know what a damaged young man he was, and how it's probably societies fault that he's killing Halloween, you're fucked. Looks like this will be another film with more Michael young and out of the mask, than old and kicking ass in it. Sorry.

CBS Rolling Out NCIS Spinoff

What would you say if I were to tell you that CBS is going to be spinning off their successful procedural NCIS with a lead character played by James Todd Smith? I bet you would say “well, Jon, that’s not really surprising, but who is this James Todd Smith fellow?”

Well, what if I told you that Mr. Smith has appeared in S.W.A.T., Any Given Sunday, Deep Blue Sea, Halloween H20. Still don’t know our mystery man? Ok, how about if I told you he was a Grammy award winning recording artist whose hits include Going Back to Cali, I Can’t Live Without My Radio, Hey Lover, and Mama Said Knock You Out. If you haven’t figured out who Mr. Smith is, you’re an idiot.

The one, the only, LL Cool J will be staring along side of the Boy Wonder himself, Chris O’Donnell. The series will get its start as one part of a two part NCIS episode later this season. LL’s character, Sam, is a rough but engaging former Navy SEAL, who is a guru on the happenings in the Middle East. I’ve always enjoyed LL, and given CBS’s track record with procedural spinoffs, I’d say this show will be in the top 10 in the Nielsen’s in no time.

Exciting Rock Band Downloads on the Horizon

Harmonix/MTV Games announced back in December that Pearl Jam's debut album "Ten" would be released as downloadable content for Rock Band in conjunction with the re-release of the album on March 24. I can't wait, in addition to Alive, which was on the Rock Band 2 game disc, all 10 other tracks from the monumental grunge album will be available. I could see myself playing this 11 song set over and over and over and over and.....well, you get the point. Here's a complete list of the album's tracks:
1. Once

2. Even Flow

3. Alive

4. Why Go

5. Black

6. Jeremy

7. Oceans

8. Porch

9. Garden

10. Deep

11. Release

In further exciting Rock Band news, MTV Games and Harmonix have recently announced another popular, although much more unlikely, inclusion to the game's catalog of downloadable content. Cordozar Calvin Broadus, better known as Snoop Dogg, will be contributing to the ever expanding track list of the game. Specifics on tracks and release dates are as of yet unknown. But it seems as though we can at least be hopeful that the tracks will include more than just newer lesser known songs, as the companies involved say they will be bringing us "songs from Snoop Dogg's impressive catalogue of hits."

Here are the Snoop D O double G hits I'm hoping for. Assuming that they will be released in two sets of three tracks each.

1. Who Am I (What's My Name)?

2. Beautiful (feat. Pharrell)

3. Gin and Juice

1. Sensual Seduction

2. Lodi Dodi

3. some track off his soon to be released Malice in Wonderland album

Let The Right One In Review

Hello, Nothing Files Land. Mikey here and boy are my pants tight. Anyway, I'm here to tell you about the latest movie that turned my squirrel knuckle into a moose knuckle. How do you take your scary movies? Chock-full of gore and gratuitous nudity? Scene after scene of torture and even more gruesome torture? Or with that slow, pervading sense of terror that movies like The Exorcist or Rosemary’s Baby (or even The Shining, to a more frenzied degree) leave you with? Say the latter. Please. I just watched a beautiful, horrifying film and for the first time in my life I have to agree with Harry Knowles (God save my soul). Let the Right One In is amazing. Truly amazing. This is a vampire movie. Simple as that. But there are no puffy-shirted, pretty men telling their unlife stories. No, this is a movie where the superstitions of vampires play little or no part. Do you remember that girl in middle school that you were to afraid to talk to? The one whose smile sent you into cardiac arrest outside of the lunchroom, shaking into the bathroom until you’re sense of reality returned? Now picture that little girl ripping your bully’s throat out and leaving him quivering on the closest frozen pond. That’s Let the Right One In.

Apparently Sweden is one giant trailer park. Trust a man who grew up in the South. The overarching feeling of white trash-edness that pervades The Hills Have Eyes or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the originals) is wholly at play in this film. Just move the action from Lubbock, Texas to Stockholm. Every character in this movie seems haunted by their life or past choices. The main character is a young, twelve year old boy named Oskar. His home life seems shattered and he spends his nights in the courtyard of his apartment building stabbing the telephone pole he pretends to be the bully mocking him daily. That is until a dark, barefooted girl (Eli) appears behind him…in the snow. Strange, right? He doesn’t seem to notice this peculiarity and before long the locals take to disappearing. While some movies might amaze you with special effects or bore you with backstory, this movie simply is. It shows you that this girl is hungry and feeds. It shows you that she has a Renfield following her and fucking up his job of providing her food. It shows you adolescent love at its purest and it moves you because of it. Oskar and Eli begin a slow courtship, made even more difficult by the fact that she eats his neighbors. And the fact that they are twelve and don’t know what a courtship entails. Oskar asks Eli if she will go steady with him and her (apparent) age stops her from answering the question, unsure of what it means. They occasionally hold hands and it seems Oskar doesn’t notice when he pulls his away, stained with blood. This movie isn’t a traditional vampire movie but it is a cleverly disguised coming-of-age film. One incredible scene has Eli talking to Oskar about the bullies that constantly torment him. She tells him to become her…only long enough to deal with them. And it is legitimately heart-wrenching in a beautifully twisted manner. Enough to make you overlook some of the films problems. This movie is based on a novel and because of that is abridged to a certain degree i.e. Eli’s constant claims that she is not a girl (something that makes sense within the context of the film but still leaves you scratching your head after certain scenes). Also, and this might be a personal matter, some of the subtitles don’t match with the emotions portrayed onscreen (did I mention this is subtitled? You should have known, it’s set in Sweden after all.) But these slight “problems” are nothing when compared with the film as a whole. It has beautifully executed death scenes, with bodies falling as gracefully as snowflakes and FX scenes that you barely notice.

Overall, I would recommend this movie to anyone that likes movies. Not just scary movies or vampire movies or coming-of-age movies (Stay golden, Pony Boy) but to anyone that like movies, period. It’s a dark, depressing fantasy movie that has the stink of reality all over it. And is all the more beautiful because of it. Fuck. Harry Knowles was right. Once.

Mass Effect 2 Trailer

I believe this current generation of gaming consoles, formerly known as the next gen, has produced more stellar and classic titles than any other generation. Yes, I said it. Get over it 8-bit NES fanboys. I mean look at some of them, Bioshock, Fallout 3, Oblivion, GTA IV, COD 4, Halo 3. One title that gets somewhat overlooked is the game I probably enjoyed the most over last couple of years. That game is Mass Effect. Am I saying that Mass Effect is better than Fallout 3? Absolutely not. I just simply said that I enjoyed it more. The title just grabbed me. It was made by Bioware, the company that brought you Knights of the Old Republic. It's a big, beautiful space opera filled with great characters and it actually brings some new combat and dialog elements to the tired old RPG genre. If you haven't played it, drop what you're doing now and go pick it up. It is majestic. That said, I just came across the trailer for Mass Effect 2. It's just a teaser but it looks awesome. And it has quite a shocker at the end. Apparently Shepard is dead. And if you believe that, send me money and I will send you charisma and good looks. Anyway, enjoy.

Mass Effect 2 'Debut' teaser

Scar Tissue; New HBO Series

Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis will be the focus of a new HBO series. Scar Tissue, helmed by John Sayles, will focus on Kiedis growing up in in West Hollywood in the 1970's.

Fans of the Red Hot Chili Peppers might be familiar with the book Scar Tissue, Kiedis' autobiography. The series originates from that book and will follow Anthony and his father, at the time known as Spider, who was a drug dealer to big name 70's bands. According to legend some of the bands that Spider sold to include The Who and Led Zeppelin. As of now, many of these bands will be portrayed in the series.

Sayles, who has written Honeydripper, Sunshine State and Silver City, has been using the book as source material as well as meeting with Anthony and his father.

This actually sounds like it could be pretty cool. I'm going to be keeping my eye out for this one. You can always count on HBO to keep coming up with new shows that I'm actually interested in.

The 81st Acadamy Awards

Well, it's that time of year again. Where celebrities gather and all of us normal folks talk about "who" the celluloid stars are wearing. Because I have nothing better to do while watching this I will be writing a running diary of the event. All times are CST.
7:14 pm - Year number 81 that I don't care what designers are being worn.
7:16 pm - Miley Cyrus just said that she hopes to be there next year to get an award. In similar news, I plan on being picked first in the NFL draft.
7:20 pm - They are now commentating on the outfits that the accountants that hold the results are wearing.
7:24 pm - I still love Marisa Tomei, has there ever been a hotter 44 year old?
7:31 pm - Here we go. I'm very skeptical of Wolverine hosting.

7:33 pm - Recession joke number 1.

7:33 pm - Recession joke number 2.

7:35 pm - I miss Billy Crystal.

7:38 pm - I haven't seen The Reader yet either, that was a pretty funny bit.

7:40 pm - Mickey Rourke scares the shit out of me.

7:44 pm - Well, my dream of a Whoopi-less Oscar night has officially been ruined. Can't she just go away.

7:48 pm - Penelope Cruz wins for Supporting Actress, Tomei was robbed! I promise you Marisa, I will make this travesty up to you somehow!

7:55 pm - Steve Martin and Tina Fey are fantastic together. There's a decent chance that bit will end up being the highlight of the show for me.

7:56 pm - Milk wins for best Original Screenplay, I didn't realize it was written by a 15 year old emo kid.

8:01 pm - Adapted Screenplay award goes to the Slumdog guy. I haven't seen it, but I really think it looks like shite.

8:04 pm - Jack Black and Jen Aniston are presenting for Animated Feature. I'm sure Jen loves that Brad and Angie are like 20 feet away with the best seats in the house. Wall-E wins, big surprise, Pixar wins an Oscar. Jack and Jen also present for Animated Short, some Asian dude wins for La Maison en Petites Cubes. He then sanks several people incoherently before saying "domo arigoto mister roboto." We could probably have gotten by fine if that award was given out with all the random technical awards.

8:17 pm - Daniel Craig and Sarah Jessica Parker's boobs presented the award for Art Direction. BULLSHIT! The Forest Gump remake of CCofBB beat out The Dark Knight! I demand a recount! The Duchess wins for costume design, I really couldn't care less. CCofBB wins for makeup. This trend better not carry over to the important categories.

8:26 pm - That kid from Twilight is creepy!

8:31 pm - Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller as Joaquin Phoenix's new weird persona are presenting for cinematography. Stiller nailed it! I can't believe Portman was able to keep from cracking up! Slumdog won. Stiller stole the show.

8:47 pm - I expected more out of the Seth Rogan bit. Best Short Film was given to Spiezglekljasdfhkl, it was apparently made by Dieter from Sprokkets.

8:58 pm - Great movie musical medley put together by Baz Luhrman. Beyonce was incredible, and Wolverine is growing on me.

9:11 pm - Heath Ledger wins for best supporting actor. Not a surprise, and a great choice. I'm amazed his family was able to keep their composure. Not many dry eyes were in the audience.

9:18 pm - Bill Maher, while shilling for his own film, presented the award for Documentary. Man on Wire won. One of the filmmakers was wearing a brown leather suit with a big tan scarf and pranced towards the stage, then did a magic coin trick and balanced the Oscar on his chin. I really couldn't make this shit up. WTF. Smile Pinki then won for best documentary short film. The filmmaker was much less entertaining than the last guy, she should have tried some illusions.

9:28 pm - The Fresh Prince gives another award to CCofBB, this time for visual effects. It beat Batman and Ironman, this is a joke.

9:30 pm - Will Smith just used the phrase "Boom Goes the Dynamite!" I love it!

9:32 pm - Sound Effects goes to The Dark Knight! It must have been because they lowered Christian Bale's voice by 9 octaves.

9:33 pm - Sound Mixing goes to Apu, Dwight Shrute, and another less funny looking guy for Slumdog.

9:35 pm - I didn't realize that John Mayer and Jen Aniston were still together. They must have killed the over/under.

9:38 pm - Slumdog wins for best editing. Apparently it was edited by Moby. Will Smith is finally leaving the stage, he was on for approximately 12 minutes.

9:44 pm - I'm tempted to change the channel. I hate Jerry Lewis. He's caused me to miss quality television too many times because of his God Damn telethon. We get it! They're sick kids! Enough already!

9:45 pm - I think Jerry must have caught something from all those sick kids he was hanging around with.

9:54 pm - Zach Effron and Alicia Keys (No Talent/Talent) present the original score award to Slumdog's Rahman. Worst Acceptance Speech Ever.

10:01 pm - Slumdog's Rahman wins again, this time for original song. Second Worst Acceptance Speech Ever.

10:07 pm - Qui-Gon Jinn and some Indian chick (I'm assuming she's from Slumdog) present the award for best foreign language film. A Japanesse film, Departures, wins. The filmmaker is berry berry happy.

10:15 pm - I always enjoy the tribue to those who have died in the past year. Roy Scheider, Isaac Hayes, Bernie Mac, Ricardo Montalban, Michael Crichton, James Whitmore, Charlton Heston, Sydney Pollack, Paul Newman. I do wonder why they didn't show Heath Ledger during the montage? Also, it sounded like there was almost no applause for Heston.

10:19 pm - Reese Witherspoon is possibly the most delightful person in the world. Slumdog's director Danny Boyle is presented with the award for Directing. Maybe I'll give this flick a shot, since it's probably going to win best picture too.

10:32 pm - I'm pretty sure that even though she's a member of the Green Lantern army, Jolie will not win this award. Actress in a leading role goes to Kate Winslett. I agree with this selection, it should be an absolute requirement that actresses get naked in a role to be qualified to win the award.

10:38 pm - I'd like to see Langella win for acting, despite the fact that his daughter sitting next to him is enormous.

10:39 pm - I think Sean Penn is getting a hand job as he sits in the front row at the Academy Awards while Robert DeNiro talks about how great a career Penn has had. He is a badass.

10:42 pm - Could there be two more different people than Sir Ben Kingsley and Mickey Rourke.

10:47 pm - Fresh off of a front row hand job, Sean Penn collects the hardware to a standing ovation. "You commie homo loving sons-a-guns." "I know how hard I make it to appreciate me." He did get political, not a surprise. He acknowledged the return of Rourke. Very gracious speech.

10:53 pm - Steven Spielberg presents for the last award of the evening. I'm pretty sure there isn't a vote, they just let Spielberg pick. And he picked Slumdog. Maybe I'll have to check it out.

I'll leave you with two predictions for next year. Actress in a Leading Role: Hillary Swank for Amelia. Film/Director: Inglorious Bastards/Tarrantino.

Battlestar Galactica Movie

Universal is gearing up for a Battlestar Galactica movie, but not so much in the way that you hope they are...

This Battlestar Galactica will not be helmed by Rom Moore, the man behind the current blockbuster series. It will be led by Glen A. Larson, creator of the original Battlestar series in '78 and it's Galactica 1980 follow up. Wow. Super. Larson's Galactica wasn't the gritty and realistic space saga that Moore's is. It was a more lighthearted, space adventures kind of show. Good. I really hate the great story development and the depth of the new Galactica. It would be great if it were just another show about people on a spaceship. No wait. That would be fucking awful.

Also the movie will apparently have nothing to do with the current continuity in place in the series. But don't worry, Adama, Starbuck and Baltar will be in the film. Evedently this movie would be yet another re-launch of the series. What the fuck? I have no idea.

All this weird info comes to us from James Hibbard's Live feed blog. The entirety of the article can be found here; http://www.thrfeed.com/2009/02/universal-in-talks-for-battlestar-movie.html

Nightmare Remake Has A Director

Well, they said if Friday the 13th was successful, the next in line would be A Nightmare on Elm Street. And guess what, it's moving forward. The Hollywood Reporter states that Samuel Bayer has been given the directors chair for the remake. Not waisting any time, the film, which still has no cast, will begin shooting in April or May.

Wesley Strick is writing the script for the film which evidently won't deal with Freddy much as the child killer. Just like the original films, you'll know Freddy's backstory, but they're spending most of the time with Freddy as the scary dream killer guy.

For those of you, like me, out there who are saying, "who the fuck is Samuel Bayer?", he's evidently a award wining music video director. He was the guy both behind the creepy bumblebee girl in Blind Melon's No Rain and the iconic Nirvana video Smells Like Teen Spirit. So that's who the fuck he is.

This year also brings us the 25th anniversary of the original Nightmare film. It would be super cool if us Nightmare fans could get some of the sweet treatment that the Friday the 13th fans got. I'd love a big coffee table book, and a documentary DVD about the history of the series. Hell, unlike Jason, only one guy ever has been Freddy Kruger, and it seems like he'll do anything these days. Couldn't be that hard to get some interviews with him about how sweet it was to be Freddy, could it? I just want more from The Springwood Slasher. The old one. Hype me up a bit.

New Nintendo DSi Video

Well today must be a day for posting video game news. Anyway, I came across a video for the new Nintendo DSi. I'm probably going to get one as my four year old son has taken over my old DS. The hardware itself looks pretty cool. The features I'm looking forward to the most are the bigger screens, the better sound, the SD card slot, and the new online game store that is apparently modeled after the WiiWare application on the Wii. The features I don't really care about are the camera and the sound recording capabilities. And this video really plays up those aspects, so maybe people are excited. Anyway, the video itself, while very informing, is uber-creepy. Everyone is dressed in white, sitting on white furniture, in white rooms and has that born again, dazed look on their face. The girl at the beginning is pretty hot though and I'm sure a lot of you sickos out there would like to deprogram her. Anyway, join the cult.

Scream 4 Update

Recently at a special screening of The Last House on the Left remake, the guys at Bloody-Disgusting got a chance to talk with Wes Craven and Scream 4 came up.

In the talk, Craven revealed that the Weinsteins are going forward with Scream 4 and Kevin Williamson is writing a new script. Evidently he's writing a younger Scream. I don't really know what that means, but one can only assume that the actors will be a lot younger than in previous entries. They also asked Craven what it would take to get him to direct the new film.

"It would take it being really as good a script as the first one was," explaining that he should also be compensated for his work on the franchise, "and the pay day reflects what I’ve done for that company and what Ive gone through on Cursed (laughs).”

Again, offers have been made to David Arquette, his wife Courtney Cox Arquette and Neve Campbell to have cameos in the film, but other than Arquette talking about maybe doing it, no one has confirmed.

The New Resident Evil 5 Trailer

Finally we get a peek at the story of the game. This trailer has me more stoked than the demo that dropped a couple weeks ago. The demo was hard. Real hard. I got sick of having that dickwad with the sack on his head and the giant axe killing me all the time. But the demo was pretty and I was still going to pick it up, but my expectations were probably more realistically set. Well crank up the hype machine and kick my expectations back up to the stratosphere because this trailer looks fucking awesome. Covet the beautiful CG goodness.

Danny Trejo Joins The Expendables

When I first heard about Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables, I couldn't help but think that it would be one hell of a lot cooler if Quentin Tarantino was directing rather than the Italian Stallion. Here's the plot synopsis from IMDB:

"After years of corruption, murder of american hostages and betrayal of foreign policies, The US with the help of other Nations secretly put together a squad of its most trained millitary personal to finally over throw the dictator who has caused devastation in South America for over 20 years. The team sets out on its mission to complete the assasination but with little help from the nations as they try to keep the mission secret. After they realize that there will be no outside help they rely on their own sources to fight not only the dictator's army but also the Governments that set them up."

That sounds like a B-movie. A team of hard asses sent to do a job and then abandoned by the government. Now they're pissed off and they want bloody vengeance. The Expendables!! It would be awesome in Tarantino's hands but in Stallone's I'm afraid that it will just be a B-movie instead of beautiful trash. That being said, I did enjoy Stallone's most recent Rambo movie but then again I love slasher films. But so far, it seems that that Stallone is making a lot of right decisions as far the casting is concerned. As you can tell from the subject title, Danny Trejo has just joined the cast of The Expendables. As far as I'm concerned, Trejo isn't employed enough. He can play hard, harder, and hard with a heart of gold. One of my favorite genre actors working today. And he joins an already stellar cast. Besides Stallone, we have Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Forest Whitaker, and supposedly Sandra Bullock. And the rumor circling the Nets the last couple of days is that the Govenator himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger, will be filming a cameo. Now it probably won't be the Arnold/ Stallone movie you always dreamed of but still it would be cool to see them share a scene together. So there's a lot of hope that this could actually be good. And if it's not good at least it will be interesting. I already can't wait for the special features on the DVD. It will be interesting to see how these titans of action get along. So we'll be keeping an eye on this one for you, right here at The Nothing Files.

Quarantine

Quarantine is a new zombie horror film directed by John Erick Dowdle and written by J.E. Dowdle and Drew Dowdle.

It's so awesome that they've finally taken the one cam process of Blair Witch and Cloverfield and did that with a zombie film.  Ok, so Romero did it with Diary of the Dead, but this film isn't by Romero.  So that's different, right?  Also, look at the poster of the film to the right.  "On March 11, 2008 the government sealed off an apartment complex in Los Angles.  The Residents were never seen again.  No Details.  No Witnesses.  No Evidence.  Until Now."  The residents were never seen again?  Fuck.  Well, at least I don't have to root for anyone.

Quarantine follows Angela and Steve, a reporter and her camera man who have the assignment of following a fire department unit around Los Angles for the night.  They work for a local news agency and are having fun with the fire crew.  Then the alarm goes off and they follow the firemen to a call at an apartment building where there is some disturbance.  Shortly after arriving, a rescue worker is attacked by some wicked old woman, who is totally a zombie.  This film has 28 Days Later fast and angry zombies, not Night of the Living Dead slow and stupid zombies.  They are all fucked.  So somehow the cops know that there are zombies in the building and quarantine the motherfucker and everyone inside.  Fucking cops.  The survivors, including the reporter and her camera man are left to try to escape the outbreak.  Good fucking luck.  I read the poster.  The residents were never seen again.  They are totally fucked.

This is actually a pretty good zombie film.  Not near the best I've ever seen, and it sure doesn't re-invent the wheel, but it's pretty cool.  It's kind of scary at points and you get a good sense that the people in the building are well and truly fucked.  That's nice, but it also made me kind of not give a shit when they died.  It was obviously inevitable.  The zombies do look cool and they pretty much seem to kick ass.  That's also nice.  I'm over slow, stupid zombies.  It's a decent, you're all fucked zombie film, but I wish there was a little more hope for the main group of "survivors".  I had a good idea they were going do die, and they fucking well do.  I don't know that I agree with the quote from Bloody Disgusting saying it's the best horror film of the year, but I'm glad I picked it up.  It's not overly unique and the concepts aren't really new, but it's well executed and I enjoyed it overall.  So give Quarantine a day in court.  It'll probably scare the shit out of you're girlfriend.

Kutcher and Heigl To Star In Lionsgates Five Killers

Katherine Heigl has recently signed along side Aston Kutcher to star in the new Lionsgate film thriller, Five Killers.

Heigl will meet the man of her dreams, Kutcher, obviously, while on vacation.  When they get married, they're horrified to find out that their new neighbors are more than likely assassins hired to kill them.  Again, obviously.  Scott Aversano is producing.  The movie will begin filming later next month in Atlanta and in the south of France.

Wow, I can't imagine why Lionsgate is facing huge profit losses lately.  Seriously, this sounds like a movie that I will never see.  Ever.  And I think Katherine Heigl is wicked hot.  There are also rumors floating around that Heigl will be leaving her starring role in Grey's Anatomy to start more full time film work.  Knocked Up was awesome, but if these are the kind of movies she's leaving a steady paycheck for, maybe keep the day job.  

I posted this because it's news and in no way just to put a hot picture of Katherine Heigl on the site.  

Terminator Salvation To Have Adult Toy Line

Well, not really...but still. Look at that thing. It's a Terminator Fist Missile. A fist missile. First we get the Harry Potter vibrating Quidditch broom stick, that wasn't really used for Quidditch and sparked many uncomfortable, parent-daughter conversations across the country. Now we get the Terminator Fist Missile. Nothing says fun like a Terminator Fist Missile. Ahhh. Fist Missile. Fist Missile. Fist Missile. Okay, I'm done.

All Three X-men Origins: Wolverine TV Spots

I'm pleasantly surprised by these spots. We actually get to see a lot of pretty cool stuff. From a young Logan popping his bone claws and killing his father to Sabertooth and Wolverine facing a firing squad. And we get to see a quite a few cameos. Look for Deadpool, Gambit, the Blob, Emma Frost, and Cyclops (I had no idea about this one). I think Fox knows people's expectations are lowered to the God-awful abomination that was X3, so they're really trying to get back into the good graces of the fans. Well my interest is piqued considerably after watching these. Maybe Fox actually got it right this time. I guess we'll have to wait and see. Anyway, enjoy.

OUTCASTS

BROTHERS

LEGENDS

'Wolverine' TV Spot: Legends @ Yahoo! Video

Banned On Vulcan

Well, with the hype for the Friday the 13th remake dying down, it's time to look towards the next big cinematic experience I can't wait for; the Star Trek remake. So I thought I'd do an album review. Sure, Banned on Vulcan focuses more on Star Trek in general, mostly the next gen, but it's Star Trek themed and it's funny as fuck, so deal with it. It's way more entertaining than that weird album that Nemoy came out with. No songs about Lord of the Rings here...

So for those of you who don't know, Voltaire is probably one of the most famous "Gothic" artists currently recording. He actually embraces Goth culture and is really funny. I had a chance to see him in Long Island at this cool sideshow/haunted house/live show. It was pretty awesome. Anyway, onto the album.

Banned on Vulcan is only a 4 track ep, but it's funny as shit. Voltaire turns his razor sharp wit on Star Trek. Being a huge Trek fan, he has some great references and it's entertaining for both hardcore fans and the casual Star Trekker alike. The tracks are; Worf's Revenge (The Klingon Rap), The USS Make Shit Up, The Sexy Data Tango and Screw the Okampa (I Want to Go Home). They are fucking hilarious. Volatire normally geeks out and has some pretty funny tracks on most of his albums, but this is his only fully comedy album. It's pretty filthy too. A lot of the songs deal with Trek Sex. Weird. But funny.

So since most Star Trek stuff can get a little geeky, this is a good out. It'll get you in a Star Trek mood, but you can look at yourself in the mirror when you're done listening to it. It's also a good intro to Voltaire's musical stylings, which I'm a pretty big fan of. See, two birds with one stone. Good for you.

I'm posting a video from when Voltaire was on FOX News being interviewed about some Goth Murders that happened. It's pretty weird and gives you a face to put with the album.

The Next Nothing Files Episode

The next episode of The Nothing Files is in the works, and I'm sure you can tell what the theme is by the image to the left.

That's right, we've mentioned him in our famous Halloween Slasher special, but now Jason Voorhees gets an episode of his very own. To celebrate the new movie and all things Crystal Lake we're sitting back down to talk the pros and cons of the entire Friday the 13th franchise. With the new film breaking records and becoming the highest grossing first weekend release R rated film of all time, I'm sure we'll be hearing a lot from Jason in the future too. Look for the boys to talk about the new movie and the classic films as well as the book Crystal Lake Memories and the new documentary His Name Was Jason. Also mentioned will be some of The Nothing Files favorite Friday the 13th related merchandise that the franchise has spawned.

The only thing left to question is who will be at the recording of this episode? After the explosive ending of the last Nothing Files, the Valentines Day Special, will the boys be able to put the past in the past and again return to the studio to record the ear candy that you, the fans, have grown to love so much? Or are The Nothing Files as they've been known to this point over... Hell, will Mikey finally get to say something on air? You'll have to download it to find out.

As always you can email us at nothingfiles@gmail.com if you would like to add anything you'd like to hear us talk about. Look for the episode in the coming weeks. As always, I'll post when it finally hits live. Now go and see Friday the 13th again, and all the old ones too. It's always better when you know what we're talking about.

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer 2 Update!

If you read our site a lot, you know I really loved Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer. It was a great fucking movie. Well, it's truely true, Jon Knautz, Brandan Moore and Trevor Matthews are getting back together and starting Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer 2. They've started on the script already, and the following is direct from their Myspace page.

"Hello Myspace Friends and Fiends,

We are busy despite the silence, and now it's time to holla at the world, and tell you what's new in our rotation. First up, Jon Knautz and Brendan Moore along with Trevor Matthews created the outline for Jack Brooks 2. The script is well under way, and coming along nicely. Now, it is quite good if we do say so ourselves. It should be a hit in the eyes of anyone who belongs to any of the following camps when it came to JB:MS:

a) I loved it. It was magical.
b) I really liked it, but a little too slow to build
c) Dammit, I wanted to like it. Really I did. But I needed the goods (ie. You know... monster slaying) A LOT sooner.

So if you belong to column A,B, or C I think we've got what you're looking for in spades.

We also have a film deep in the script stages and we WILL be shooting this new film in the summer of '09. It's a straight horror film this time around. It revolves around a group of journalists who go to investigate a small village in Europe where human sacrifice is reputed to still go on. It's dark and brutal like a Dethklok song."

Dark and brutal like a Dethklok song! Awesome. Get that fucker out. I can't wait.

Pride and Craziness

What the hell is going on. I've just heard about two separate remakes of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. Now, I don't know a damn thing about this book or Jane Austen in general. I'm pretty sure it's some sort of thing that women read when they get into the twilight of life. That said, it appears that two different film companies want to change that.

First, Seth Grahame-Smith wrote a book called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. What the fuck? And Zombies!?!?! Well in this adaptation, the evident main character from the book, Elizabeth Bennet, and her 4 sisters take to arms and ninja train to kill zombies. No fucking shit. Seriously. They're trying to make a movie out of it and Natalie Portman may or may not be in it, depending on who you believe. Natalie fucking Portman. What the fuck.

Next is Pride and Predator. Fuck. Evidently Elton John's Rocket Pictures is behind this one. Will Clark (The Amazing Trousers) will direct the period piece where the well mannered Victorian era folks are thrown from their normal lives when an alien crash lands and starts to kill them. Fuck. Really? This one is actually starting filming in London later in the year. It was written by Clark, Andrew Kemble and John Pape and produced by Elton John, Steve Hamilton Shaw and David Furnish.

"It felt like a fresh and funny way to blow apart the done-to-death Jane Austen genre by literally dropping this alien into the middle of a costume drama, where he stalks and slashes to horrific effect," says Furnish of the forthcoming film.

Wow. I don't even know what to say. These films are either gonna wicked suck or be amazingly awesome. There is no gray area I can see other than that. So there you have it. Two Jane Austen re-imaginations in the works, from the same fucking book. Who says lightning never strikes twice.

Wicked Sweet Batman Video

This is one of my favorite Batman videos ever.  Batman vs. Predator vs. Alien.  Fucking Awesome.  Enjoy...

Friday the 13th + The Wrestler = The Slasher

This video and song  is genius. It remakes Bruce Springsteen's fantastic song "The Wrestler" into a tribute to Jason Voorhees. It actually has the line, "If you've ever seen a bald headed Corey Feldman, then you've seen me." Jason has never been so funny. Or kind of sad. Anyway, enjoy.

Zombie Strippers

Zombie Strippers.  Holy fucking shit.  I don't even know how to start this.  I'm a huge zombie fan.  That's just the world I live in.  When I heard that there was going to be a zombie movie with Robert Englund and Jenna Jameson I had no idea what to do with myself.  Fortunately it's wicked weird and kind of awesome.

In the world of Zombie Strippers, W Enterprises creates a virus that reanimates dead flesh.  For some reason it does better in women than men.  Men turn into mindless zombies, but women retain a good deal of their cognitive functions.  Ok, I'll bite.  So this one jackass from the special forces that is sent in to deal with the zombie outbreak gets bitten, and awol's from his platoon.  Obviously as he's running away, he ends up in a secret underground strip club, run by Robert Englund, who is awesome as the creepy strip club owner who hates the strippers he employs.  Awesome.  Well, the infected solider bites the throat out of Jenna Jameson and she turns into uber zombie stripper.  Did you know that turning into a zombie makes you a wicked good stripper?  Fuck, I didn't either.  But it does.  Fuck you George Romero and you're social commentary zombies.  These zombies strip and read Nietzsche.  They're also named after characters in a French play I've never heard of.  That's high brow.  So some other dudes get turned into zombies and a bunch of the strippers want to be zombies because that makes them better at stripping.  Fuck, this is getting convoluted for a movie called Zombie Strippers.  So anyway, some stripper that's been feuding with Jenna for top stripper billing turns into a zombie, and they have a stripper-off cause they hate each other.   Seems like the natural progression to me.  Then fortunately the special forces group shows up and takes everyone out.  Thank fucking god.  I don't know if I could live in a world where the zombie strippers lived.  Fuck.

So, is this movie good?  I don't really know.  I enjoyed it.  The effects kind of suck, but they try hard.  And the acting is terrible, but the story is kind of funny.  I have weird feelings about this film, and not just because of the copious amounts of boobs in it.  It's good for what it is, a low budget horror zombie film.  It doesn't try to be much more than it is, though it does try pretty hard to come off as more intellectual than it really is.  It tries.  Give it an A for effort.  Even though there is no fucking A in effort.  Fucking hate that phrase.  Anyway, Zombie Strippers is pretty funny and a fairly good time.  Just don't try to take it as serious as it wants to take itself.

The House Of The Dead: Overkill

Over the weekend I decided it was time for a new video game, so I went to the local shop to check out what's new in the world. Sure, I thought about waiting until next month for the new Resident Evil game, but that's a no brainer that I'm gonna get that, and I wanted something now, damnit.

So I picked up The House of the Dead Overkill. I've played all the other House of the Dead games and even seen both the movies. The games I've played previously in the franchise have horrible voice acting and get redundant quickly. But I like killing mutants (see zombies) as much as the next guy, so I figured what the hell. I'd heard some pretty good things about the game and thought I knew what I was getting into.

This game is fucking awesome. Seriously. It's the greatest gun shooter I've ever played, and that's in no way because it re-invents the wheel. It's still your basic, shoot pretty much everything on screen style gun based game. What makes this game awesome and stand out is how they deliver it. It looks like an old grindhouse movie, all choppy and grainy and shitty. It's also wicked vulgar. One of the characters says motherfucker more often than I do. It's like having Samuel L. Jackson yell at you while you're playing the game. It's fucking awesome. No more are you just going around killing mutants in a thin plot. Now you're killing mutants in cool and unique environments all while in the midst of a revenge plot. It's fucking awesome. I can not say that enough. The wii and it's games have a tendency to be a bit vanilla and for kids, but this is a balls out angry game. When they introduce Clarance Washington, the partner of Agent G, they say that he's a bad motherfucker that will rip your balls off. Fuck. If I didn't have a wii, this would be the game that would convince me to get one. Stop reading this and go out and get House of the Dead Overkill. It is seriously some of the most fun I've ever had playing video games.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Trailer in HD

I saw this trailer Friday night in front of Friday the 13th. It looks...good. Just not great. I'm afraid it's going to be too explode-y. I know, who wants a plot in their giant robot movie, right? Well, I kind of do. But I'm sure I'm in the minority. But anyway, great name. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen seems ominous enough, and it definitely harkens back to The Empire Strikes Back. And kudos for not just calling it Transformers 2. Anyway, watch stuff splode.

Even bigger and better versions HERE.

Friday the 13th Review

So let me set this up for you. Where I live it snowed seven inches today. The plows haven't been out yet so the roads are pretty bad. I went to last show of Friday the 13th on Friday the 13th. The 10:30. The theater was about half full, not bad, all things considered. And let it be known that the people who show up at the last show on a snowy night are fans. These people were ready for some horror, thrills and scares. And Friday the 13th doesn't disappoint. 

But first let me address this whole remake thing. I left the theater wondering if this was actually a remake at all. The whole backstory is given over the opening credits, shot in a kind of burned out black and white, to invoke a flashback. The date they give at the beginning of the flashback is actually 1980. Approximately the same time period of the original movie. And the backstory is exactly the same. Mommy Voorhees kills a lot of camp counselors after her son seemingly drowns. Then Mommy is beheaded by a lone surviving camp counselor. Jason watches. All pretty familar, right? Then the movie switches to color and the slug simply says "Present Day." Cue horny teenagers walking through the woods, in search of an elusive field of weed. Obviously these kids are just meat for the grinder that is Jason Voorhees. And grind them he does. And this is when I actually found myself wondering if was really was a remake at all. It's just all so familiar. The kills are creative, but definitely Friday the 13th-like. Jason looks the same, wearing his hood from Part 2. The scares are quite often cheap. There's gratuitous nudity. But then came the part that is actually different from official canon, how Jason acquires his mask. In Friday the 13th Part 3, Jason takes the mask of the annoying prankster, Shelly, after doing away with him. In this Friday the 13th, he gets his mask from necessity, more or less, after his hood is ripped. I actually prefer the way he gets the mask in the updated version. It just makes a bit more sense, not that sense has ever had anything to do with a Friday the 13th movie. But that scene, the acquiring of the mask, is the only part that strays from Jason's history. It's like a two minute scene. But thusly, because of that scene, I guess you could say that this movie is indeed a remake. Due to that two minute scene. 

But this is definitely a Friday the 13th movie. Even an old school Friday the 13th movie at that. Marcus Nispel doesn't reinvent the machete. He stays far away from Rob Zombie territory. We don't see a young Jason being picked on as a child. His mommy's not a stripper. His daddy isn't a drunk. We get zero back story on Jason, besides what we already knew. Halle-fuckin-jueah. We just get kills, nudity, more kills, and cheap scares. Remember the second half of the Halloween remake? Like right when you were about ready to give up and then stuff started to get good? When the movie started feeling like a Halloween movie instead of some indie film about white trash? Well Friday the 13th starts as a Friday the 13th movie, the middle is a Friday the 13th movie, and the end is so blatantly a Friday the 13th movie it should almost feel ashamed of itself for sticking so close to the formula. But the formula works. It's what Friday the 13th fans want. And it's what this Friday the 13th delivers. The audience at the late show actually applauded several times during the movie, at the sheer inventiveness and the sheer sameness of Jason's kills. It's just fun. 

That said, obviously extensive cuts were made to get an R. Some scenes seem abbreviated and hastily chopped together. We get a lot of reaction shots instead of gore. This movie is still gory, mind you, it's just that a lot of restraint was shown. Obviously, that restraint will be thrown to the wind once the uncut DVD drops. But all in all the new Friday the 13th is an old school, down and dirty, Friday the 13th movie. It's big and dumb but ultimately fun. If you like Friday the 13th movies, you'll like the new one. If Friday the 13th was never your thing, then this movie is not for you. 

The WATCHMAN Tales Of The Black Freighter Trailer

One of the more memorable parts of the fantastic, graphic novel The Watchman, was a story within a story called Tales of the Black Freighter. It is mainly a horror story, but it was also an adventure story, and a love story, and, of course, a pirate story. But mainly it looks at the question, how long can hold onto one's humanity in utterly dire circumstances. The story is drenched in hope and horror, despair and madness. And it will not be part of the movie, The Watchman, that is hitting theaters in March. Lucky for us though, it will be hitting DVD and Blu-ray around the same time. It's rated R (and a hard R at that I hear). And most likely it will be worked back into the movie when the extended version of it drops. The trailer just hit the net and the animation looks wonderful. I'm getting more and more excited for The Watchmen. Enjoy the trailer.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Mikey's Review of Clive Barker's Midnight Meat Train

So my last review was fairly harsh. I did not like My Bloody Valentine and I might have taken it out on you, dear Reader. For that I apologize. But this review will be positive, full of cinematic praise and verbal blowjobs…so do me a favor and wash up.

Let me start by saying that this movie had a rough childhood. Originally, intended for a wide release, the film wound up being shown on only 100 screens and was, essentially, straight-to-DVD due to Lionsgate president, Joe Drake, being a mega-tool. Based on a Clive Barker short-story, Midnight Meat Train looks beautiful, nothing like traditional straight-to-DVD fare, and has a fairly impressive cast. It stars Bradley Cooper: Douchebag Boyfriend from The Wedding Crashers, Leslie Bibb: Hot Reporter Chick from Iron Man, and Vinnie Jones: Scary Well-Dressed Guy from Any British Caper Movie. Not initially a fan of Bradley Cooper, the guy made me totally change my mind about him. While not a Brando, he manages to hold his own as the star (and main protagonist) of the film. Cooper plays Leon, a freelance photographer who notices The Butcher (Jones) in a subway before a young woman is murdered. He begins to follow the Butcher, initially portrayed as a serial killer but later revealed to be (amazingly) something even more sinister. As Leon trails the Butcher, he begins a downward psychological spiral, caused by everyone’s lack of belief in his claims. Bibb, in a decent performance, plays Leon’s girlfriend and sole voice of “sanity.” And Jones, of course, is a vicious fuck and has only one line of dialogue in the entire movie. Speaking of vicious fuck-ery, this movie is gory. Not over-the-top gory but gory enough (and cool enough) that this should have been the 3D horror movie I saw this winter. Replace a pickaxe with a meat tenderizer, and a shite movie with a movie polite enough to give a reach-around (and a scene shot entirely from the perspective of a decapitated head) and you would have Midnight Meat Train 3D. But that didn’t happen. Go rent this movie. Fuck that, buy this movie. Make Joe Drake feel like a dick. Check out the trailer below.

My Name Is Bruce: Movie Review

Just because there isn't going to be a Campbell/Rami Evil Dead 4 doesn't mean that Bruce isn't still putting out movies worth watching.

My Name is Bruce is the new Bruce Campbell film in which some stupid teenagers awaken the Chinese God of War while dicking around doing destructive teenager stuff. Well the weird God guy starts killing everyone in the small Oregon mining town. Fortunately the kid that woke him up knows exactly what to do. He's a huge Bruce Campbell fan and he knows that Bruce is the only one that can save his town. No one kicks the shit out of some kind of half-assed weird demon thing like Bruce Campbell, so he kidnaps him, and brings him to the town where he is welcomed as a glorious savior. Now in this film, Campbell plays himself as a drunk loser. He is divorced and lives in a shit trailer with a dog that kind of hates him. When he gets to town, he thinks he's in some kind of movie that his crappy agent booked him for his birthday, so he goes along with it, drinking and alienating pretty much everyone. Well, as I'm sure you can guess, when Bruce finally confronts the monster and realises it's real, he runs the fuck out of there. Runs straight home. It's not until he gets a message from the kid that brought him to the town about how the kid is going to try to take on the monster by himself that he takes the classic Ash hero turn and returns to the town to do battle. Fuckin a.

This movie is hands down awesome. It's got really good production value and it's even cooler because the town were the movie is set is built in Bruce's actual backyard. Awesome. It's also laden with references to other Campbell movies and heavily laden with Evil Dead/Army of Darkness references. The movie is just great. The sets are cool, the effects are pretty good, and the acting isn't near as bad as you think it would be. Awesome. This is the kind of film that reminds you why Bruce Campbell is one of the coolest and best actors ever. The DVD has a bunch of really good extra features too. Making of features and a really entertaining directors commentary are my favorites. By this DVD. There is no reason not to. And since the set still stands, they even mention that there is a good possibility for a sequel, My Name Is Still Bruce. Fuck yes. Buy this DVD.

Evil Dead 4?

Evil Dead and it's follow up Army of Darkness are the holy grails in geek movie culture. Few films have garnered the cult popularity of the Evil Dead franchise, and for good reason. Sam Rami and Bruce Campbell put together movies that are kind of scary and funny. Really funny. And they created Ash, the greatest anti-hero ever. With Sam Rami's continuing success and Bruce's new found actor cred on Burn Notice fans have been champing at the bit more than ever for Evil Dead 4. Both Rami and Campbell have been keeping that fire going too with constantly saying maybe about the big screen return of Ash. However recently that maybe has become more and more often a hard no. Now in an interview with The Onion's AV Club, Cambell puts a moratorium on the series.

AVC: In your opinion, is Ash worthy of more movies?

BC: No. I think there should be an end to everything. I mean, did anyone really want Indiana Jones 4? The answer is no. I've taken a poll in about seven theaters now. Of 300 people, three hands go up. You are bound to disappoint. I would rather disappoint with a brand new original movie. People worship Army Of Darkness, and God bless them for it. It's a beautiful thing. The movie bombed when it came out, and not many people are aware of that. Twenty years later, the thing has picked up speed, and it's on American Movie Classics now. That was a long time ago, and whatever we do next will always be compared to Army Of Darkness, and I don't see how we can win. You make that movie, and I can tell you the quote right now, "Oh, it's not quite as good as Army Of Darkness." Then we would have gone through immense physical pain and anguish to bring something out that ultimately disappointed. That's really not what I'm into these days.

So there you have it. Campbell will not be Ash again. Man. I hate to say it, but he has a point. That kills me, but I think he's right. And he's Ash, you can't really argue with that. Looks like rather than fresh Campbell Ash, we need to settle for Evil Dead the Musical and the Evil Dead remake, where ever the fuck that is in production. So there you have it. While I'm not super happy, it's at least nice to hear one way or the other.

Jennifer's Body Image

Now while I realize that the title of this post may be misleading. This isn't some after school special post about female body image. That's not really what we do. Don't worry girls. You're all beautiful to us. Except Mikey. I can't really get into that though...

There's a new high-res image of Megan Fox floating around on the internets from Jennifer's Body. For those of you unfamiliar with the film, Jennifer's Body is the new Diablo Cody, the writer of Juno, film. This time rather than the horrors of teenage pregnancy, Cody deals with a cheerleader who is possessed by a demon in her small Minnesota farming town and starts to feed off the boys of the town. Cool, eh? Yep, Megan Fox is said possessed cheerleader. Her "normal chick" friend has to try to kill the possessed girl, then go fuck up the Satanic rock band that possessed her friend in the first place. Holy fuck. Good vengeance!

While the film is still in production, it is expected in theaters on September 18th of this year. Evidently the former stripper, Cody, is a big horror fan and has been wanting to do a really dark and messed up horror film for some time. Given Cody's sweetheart status right now in Hollywood expect a big push for the Juno follow up around the movies release time. Plus, I mean, come on... Megan Fox is hot and eats guys. I'm ok with that. I'm gonna say that she will be 20x hotter in this film than either Transformers movies. That's right. You heard it hear first. 20x hotter.

The "REAL" Indiana Jones Trailer

This has been floating around the Internets for a couple of days now. It's labeled as the real Indiana Jones 4 trailer. I get it. Okay? People didn't dig the last Indy. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I kind of did. Yes, there's a lot of crap in it. The giant plants slapping Mutt's balls as he's straddling two cars comes to mind. And there's the Mutt swinging with the monkeys scene. Fuck. And who can forget the scene that actually started a new pop culture catch phrase? When television shows go bad, we say the show has jumped the shark. When a movie franchise turns to shit, we now say the franchise has nuked the fridge. Goddammit!! I need a George Lucas Apologist's support group right now!! I need fucking help! Do you hear me, Internets? I'm fucking sick!!!! Anyway, enjoy the trailer. *sob*

Dollhouse and the N.P.R. Joss Whedon Interview

This Friday we get two great geek milestones. Number one, the new Friday the 13th movie opens, as I'm sure you're getting sick of hearing. And number two, we get a new television show from Joss Whedon. And I am begging you, make that pleading with you, to please support it. The word on it has been really positive, so tell your friends. Don't wait until the DVDs come out. Support it now. That way we'll get plenty of episodes and the mythology of the show can come to fruition. That said, N.P.R. (my favorite radio station) did a terrific interview with Joss Whedon (my favorite television writer). There's plenty of little teasers to tide you over till Friday. You can listen HERE. Just click the blue "Listen Now" button at the top of the page.

His Name Was Jason

His Name Was Jason is one of the coolest DVD's that doesn't have a movie on it ever.  If you're remotely a fan of horror and especially of Friday the 13th, you need this movie.

On the main disk is the feature His Name Was Jason.  It's a documentary hosted by Tom Savini about the history of the Friday the 13th franchise.  Savini talks about everything from effects to the plot points of the different films, all while walking around the Universal Studios Nights of Terror Friday the 13th haunted house deal.  Also on the first disk is The Men Behind The Mask; interviews with different actors who have played Jason.  One standout is Derick Mears who will be Jason in the new film.  The rest are familiar faces to fans, and it was cool to see the new guy and hear so much from him.

The second disk is filled with different featurettes.  Final Cuts, Dragged From the Lake, From Script to Screen, The Camp Crystal Lake Survival Guide, Fan Films, Jason Takes Comic Con, and Friday the 13th in 4 Minutes as acted by bunnies...  It's weird.  For the most part, all the featurettes are pretty damn cool.  

Unlike the special features on the 3 new re-released DVD's which kind of suck or are just taken from Crystal Lake Memories, these are different and new information.  The guy from Crystal Lake Memories is involved but the features aren't just bastardizations of his book.  

It's hard to say to much about a documentary DVD about horror movies.  It's fucking awesome.  Buy it.  It's totally worth it and cool.