World Exclusive: The G.I. Joe Super Bowl Spot!

This actually looks pretty good. Admittedly it also looks pretty cheesy. But to see the Baroness strutting around in her leather getup and her hot for teacher glasses, will be worth the price of admission alone. And Snake Eyes looked kind of cool too. Click the link and ch-ch-check it out.

World Exclusive: The G.I. Joe Super Bowl Spot!

 

Posted using ShareThis

S. Darko

The direct to DVD Donnie Darko is in the works.

S. Darko comes to us directed by Chris Fisher (Nightstalker) and will release April 28th. Nathan Atkins has scripted the film that brings back Daveigh Chase as Donnie's little sis who ventures out with her best friend Corey for a road trip to LA that becomes hallucinatory and strange.

While much of the casting and plot still are unconfirmed, you can visit the films website at http://www.sdarko.com/sdarko/Home.html

Man, the first film was so good an original. Let's hope the DVD sequel can hold a candle to it.

My Bloody Valentine 3D

Exactly one-week-and-a-day ago our geek-crew watched the aforementioned film. You might wonder why this review has taken so long. Was it because I wanted to allow the movie to simmer in my brain to provide a wholly accurate and insightful synopsis? No…idiot. It took me this long to write a review because I didn’t even want to think about this awful, awful movie again. But because of you, loyal reader, I choose to relieve this Valentine’s Day massacre.
You’ll notice from the title that this movie is in 3D. Hurray, I thought. The last time I saw a 3D movie was an IMAX documentary when I was 11. Just for the record, there were no boobs or decapitations in that, thus the excitement. This movie quickly proved me wrong. It starts out strong, with a very interesting opening credits scene. Newspaper headlines and crime-scene photos fly at you, providing the story’s background. Namely, due to a simple mistake, a group of miners are trapped in a mineshaft and to conserve air, one of the miners kills the others with a pick-axe. Awesome. Then the film starts. We have a creepy hospital bloodbath. Awesome. Then, a party at the very same mineshaft where the murders occurred, where hot chicks and football players are going to drink and have unprotected sex with each other. Awesome. Stupid…but awesome. It’s here that we have the only scene where the 3D truly seems necessary (you’ll know it when you see it.) And that was also awesome. Then, the movie tries to develop a plot. So…not…awesome. Don’t get me wrong, I love plot. I will love the lowest budget, straight-to-DVD, C-list movie to death, if the plot is solid. On the flip side, I want my slashers to kill because they can. That’s it. Maybe they were picked on, burnt alive, drowned but that takes five minutes of exposition. Then it’s on to sweet, bloody, brutal and totally unnecessary carnage. Not so with MBV3D (clever, heh?), after the first fifteen minutes we get the dreaded “Ten Years Later” graphic. And from there we have a movie rife with soap-opera style love-triangles (two of them), a parents-doing-the-right-thing-the-wrong-way subplot, infidelities, insanity, and a buttload of other melodrama. Sprinkle in a few killings, a (awesome, I admit) nude scene, and a “twist” ending and you have a movie, right? No…idiot.
The acting was on-par with a standard horror flick. Nothing too fantastic but I didn’t want to pick-axe any of the actors myself. Besides the plot, the 3D effects detracted from the film more than anything. The film was very dark. Not atmospheric dark…just dark. Shots were often out of focus. And for some reason, everything is filmed from behind a chain-link fence. Overall, there were a few well-executed deaths, some 3D boobs, and a gas-mask. Watch it if you’d like but I’d only give it as a Valentine’s gift if you’re trying to break up with somebody.

The Green Hornet

Well, the road to a Green Hornet movie has been rocky at best. For those of you who this is the first time hearing of it, Seth Rogen will be taking on the role of the Green Hornet.

Originally Stephen Chow was going to direct and play Kato, however, he has pulled out of the directors seat, and it is unknown if he will still be Kato or not.

New word on the street is that Adam Sandler will have a cameo in the maybe on/maybe off film. The Los Angeles Times reports; "Two different people in the industry told me that Adam Sandler has a brief but key role in the movie as a certain surprise superhero...I heard which one, too, but I don't want to ruin it. Sandler and Rogen have another project together as well."

As to who Sandler will play, all I can find out that it's either the Lone Ranger, as that was Green Hornets father, though the age seems off, or Batman. In the old TV show, the Green Hornet had a crossover on the Batman show. I think either would be funny.

As to if this movie will even get made or not, Seth Rogen has weighed in on that; "Assuming we’re able to hire a new director in the upcoming weeks, which seems like a distinct possibility, it should still hit the release date.” So who knows. The film sounds wicked campy, but I've liked everything I've seen Rogen in thus far, so I'm hoping for the best.

The Pull Box #4

Welcome to The Pull Box #4. As you may or may not have noticed, there was no Pull box last week. So that begs the question, do last week's comics exist without my riveting insights? And the answer, my faithful followers of the four color fiction, is that they do indeed exist. And they were mostly good. But you'll have to track them down on your own. This week's column is for the books that came out on January 28, 2009, with one exception. The one exception is:

Star Trek Countdown #1: This book came out last week. If you're any sort of regular reader of this site, then you know that we here at the Nothing Files are looking forward to the Star Trek movie that's coming out in May. To put it mildly. To put it accurately, we're standing around with gigantic nerd chubbies, wearing our Spock ears, cradling our phasers, and dissecting every image of the Enterprise that the Paramount P.R. department leaks. This comic is the first glimpse into the world of the next movie. It takes place 8 years after the Star Trek Insurrection and serves as a sort of bridge between that series and the new one. We do know that the new film will be some sort of time travel tale with Spock and all sorts of action-y action. So it makes sense that this comic is set way after (or way before) the events of the new film. In the book, it is revealed that Spock has been an ambassador to Romulus for the past 15 years and is in fact living on Romulus. He's trying to build a peace between the Romulans and the Vulcans and actually having some success. But then some Star Trek-y stuff happens and a star is going to explode and blow up Romulus and no one believes Spock except one guy and that guy is Nero who is a space miner and a pretty good guy and Nero is going to end up being a bad guy in the movie and is going to be played by Eric Bana. There you go, synopsis by way of run-on sentence. Anyway, Spock and Nero actually team up to save Romulus. In route to the rescue, their spacecraft is attacked by bad guys. And what ship comes out of hyperspace to save them? None other than the Enterprise herself. But the big reveal at the end is who the captain is. And the new captain of the Enterprise is Data. And yes, Data did apparently die in the last movie. And no, I have no idea how he is alive again except that he's a robot and I'm guessing it's really not that hard to revive a robot. I mean, Ugnaughts shot the shit out of C-3PO and all it took was a giant monkey with no tools to put him back together. So how hard can it be? Anyway, this comic has me anticipating the movie all the more. Nero was, by far, my  favorite character and it will be interesting to see his fall from grace. If you're any sort of Star Trek fan, I can highly recommend this book. It's a nice little tide me over till May. Now onto this week's comics.

Final Crisis #7: Oh thank Christ! It's over. I haven't read it yet. But I'm guessing it's going to set whole new standards for SUCK. Avoid this turd like the plague, unless you're like me and want to see how this train wrecks ends.

New Avengers #49: Skrulls took Luke Cage's baby. Now Luke is looking for his baby. Remember when the Avengers used to be about Dr. Doom taking over the world and stuff? But it's Bendis writing, so it'll be good. Wordy, but good. A not so interesting side note, Nothing Files contributor Mikey, sent me a quiz to see what Marvel superhero you are and I was Luke Cage. Yeah, I didn't see that one coming either.

Captain America #46: I love you Ed Brubaker! Call me!

Batman #685: I've been reading Batman since I heard Neil Gaiman was going to do an arc. He hasn't started writing yet though and truth be told, Batman hasn't been that good. But I think the writer's hands have been tied due to that whole Final Crisis fiasco. Now Final Crisis is over, thank Christ! So maybe, the Batman titles will pick up. Even though he's dead. But that whole "Battle of the Cowl" thing that's going to happen after Gaiman's run has me mildly interested. So we'll see.

Dark Tower Treachery #5 of 6: I really can't get over how much I like this book. I love that I have more Dark Tower to read. This comic takes place after Wizard and Glass and is leading up to the battle of Jericho Hill. Great stuff. And if you haven't read the Dark Tower series by Stephen King, I can't recommend it enough.

Other books I picked up this week are Marvels Eye of the Camera #3, Star Wars legacy #32, X-men Worlds Apart #4, and Ghost Rider Danny Ketch #4. There are a lot of great titles out there with a lot of talented people writing and drawing them. If you haven't picked up a comic in awhile, do yourself a favor and walk into your local comic book store and ask them what they would recommend. You won't be disappointed. See you next week. Oh, and did I mention that Final Crisis was over? Thank Christ!

Mickey Rourke VS Chris Jericho

In a no way surprising move, Mickey Rourke is proudly joining the list of celebrities who have been involved in Wrestlemania. The award nominated The Wrestler actor announced on the red carpet on Sunday that he was very pleased by professional wrestlers' response to his new film. All of them except for Chris Jericho. So he's going to do what any quasi-sane man would, meet him in the squared circle on April 5th for the 25th Wrestlemania.

Rourke has said that he's gonna toss Jericho around the ring like a tossed salad. Jericho responded on WWE programming saying he was hurt by Rourke's comments and that Rourke had made a big mistake.

Nothing like a classic celebrity/wrestler feud. Just be careful Mickey. Jericho's Walls of Jericho put Triple H on the shelf for a long damn time. And make sure to get one of those hot female wrestlers to watch after your chiuaua.

Who Do You Think You Are? The BBC

The British Invasion continues, only this time it's not Red Coats or music, it's BBC TV shows being adapted by American TV stations. Joining the long list of imported shows that either are currently on the air, or about to be, NBC is bringing the genealogy themed reality show Who Do You Think You Are? stateside.

The premise of the show is bringing in celebrities and then researching their family trees to find out their ancestry. Wow. Hard hitting stuff.

Some early stars that are on board include Lisa Kudrow, Susan Sarandon and Sarah Jessica Parker. The show will begin April 20th and occupy the 8pm time slot that will be left open by the season finale of Chuck. Well, I guess I'll have something to flip past on nights when I'm not trying to catch the few episodes of Dollhouse before it gets canned from being buried in a shit time slot.

A-Team 2010

The A-Team are motherfuckin' back! ...or at least they will be. Twentieth Century Fox is reloading the franchise with plans for a summer 2010 film.

Joe Carnahan will direct the Ridley Scott production with executive producer Tony Scott. Jules Daly and Stephen J. Cannell, original TV creators of the show will also be on board to produce.

Where as the original A-Team were Vietnam vets who escaped military prison after committing an armed robbery that go on to become do-gooder mercs, the current incarnation will have them as Middle Eastern vets. Other than the back story though, little is still known about who may or may not be on board as well as what the overall story to the movie will be. I loved the A-Team as a kid, FOX. You'd better do right by it, but don't worry, I'm not holding my breath. We'll keep you posted.

Deathtroopers

Ok, two of the greatest things ever are about to collide in what I hope will be one of the coolest books I've read in years.

Author Joe Schreiber (Chasing the Dead, Eat the Dark) is writing a new Star Wars book, slated for an October 27th release from Del Ray Publishing. Get this, it's a Star Wars horror book!

Yep, how awesome does that sound. Here's some words from the author himself; "I've tried to make it into exactly the kind of book you'd want to read if you were a child of the '70's who grew up with the original Star Wars trilogy and really digs horror in the vein of The Shining and Alien, with a little dose of William Gibson mixed in."

Deathtroopers sounds like the book I've been waiting for the past 30 years. And this info comes from www.starwars.com, so you don't get much more official than that. Looks like '09 might not be too bad a year for horror fans.

Machete

In super awsome, please God let it be true news, there are a lot of rumors on the nets that Machete will actually be a film. The Weinstein Co. is planning on shooting Robert Rodriguez's Machete as soon as later this year.

Fans of the Tarantino/Rodriguez films that made up '07's Grindhouse fondly remember all the faux trailers that came before and between both movies. With trailers like Eli Roth's Thanksgiving, Edgar Wright's Don't and Rob Zombies Werewolf Women of the SS, the crowd favorite has always been Machete. Machete is Danny Trejo in Rodriguez's trailer of a Mexican day laborer highered to kill a senator. Betrayed and double crossed, the ex-federale reaps his bloody vengeance on the men who set him up. "They fucked with the wrong Mexican."

I really hope this gets made. Contrary to the populace, I really liked both Grindhouse films and would love to see additional sets made. All the trailers looked awesome, especially Machete and I can't wait to see some form of it. Get this fucker made!

Valentines Day Extravaganza

The Nothing Files are going back into the studio, this time to celebrate Valentines Day. It's a crappy holiday, but it's also the birthday of one of our sometime contributors, Jon. And he's coming back just to record an episode about it. Now, don't worry. We won't spend much time at all talking about Jon and his birthday, we're on your side. But we will be talking about My Bloody Valentine 3-D and other movies of the season. What will we pick as the best romance movie of all time? What will Thom and Nick pick as the most Romantic albums of all time (you know Jon will pick Looking For: The Best of David Hasselhoff)? You'll have to tune in to find out!

If you're not listening to The Nothing Files, you're missing out. Our podcast can be found on iTunes, search Nothing Files in podcast searches, click subscribe, and you're done! You can hear us drink and debate the finer points of Star Wars, horror movies, comics and video games. And it's all free! God Bless America!!!

So do your best Colonel Tigh and keep your eye out for our next, exciting episode. We're recording Superbowl Sunday, and should hopefully have it up and live in time for you and your current beard to cuddle up with on Valentines Day. As always, you're welcome.

Repo! The Genetic Opera; Testify!

Ok, so quite awhile ago I was on here complaining about how there were none of the Repo! events near me. Still pissed about that, but I finally got the DVD and brothers and sisters, it was worth it. Now before I get into the meat of this one, this movie is probably not for everyone. It's a true opera, every word is sung. And it's pretty dark. Don't get me wrong, it's pretty funny too, but the overall theme is a darker film. Not being a huge fan of musicals, I was drawn into this minutes after the opening credits rolled.

Repo! is the brainchild of Darren Smith and Terrance Zdunich, who also plays Graverobber, and is directed by Darren Lynn Bousman (Saw II, III, & IV). Other than a wonderfully unique story the cast really helps make this one. Paul Sorvino (Goodfellas) is Rotti Largo, head of GeneCo. You see, in the not too far off future there is an epidemic of organ failures that threaten to decimate the human race. Rotti comes up with a way to supply organs to the masses, and while most can't afford to pay, he offers payment plans. But if you miss a payment the Repo man comes for your organs. This intensely difficult role is played by Anthony Head (Buffy The Vampire Slayer). On top of being the wicked and vicious Repo Man, Head is also a father to the sick girl, main character, Shilo Wallace, played by Alexa Vega (Sleepover, State's Evidence).

Now, Rotti Largo has three kids. All worthless sycophants. Bill Moseley (House Of 1000 Corpses) plays Luigi Largo, the violent son. Paris Hilton (House Of Wax, Various Low Quality Independent Releases) is the daughter, diva wannabe/plastic surgery addict Amber Sweet. Rounding out the Largo family is Pavi Largo, played by Nivek Ogre (Skinny Puppy frontman). While Ogre's face is never seen because he's always wearing a mask of someone else's skin, he plays the role of the oversexed idiot Pavi to the nines. Writer Terrance Zdunich is the Graverobber, basically our narrator in the film. Rounding out the principal cast is opera diva Sarah Brightman as songbird Blind Mag, godmother of Shilo and property of GeneCo.

The story arch follows sick daughter Shilo as she is caught up in a long time rivalry between her father and Rotti Largo. Rotti is dying and wants closure in life. He wants someone other than his worthless children to take over GeneCo and finally wants revenge against the Repo Man that he feels stole the love of his live. His machinations begin to turn Shilo against her father. All the while Pavi is fucking anything in site, Amber Sweet is getting fucked up on street drugs and having more and more reconstructive surgery and Luigi is killing everyone he comes across. Sounds pretty fucking cool, huh?

How this movie works for me is just how over the top everything is. Not just the characters but the sets and the world they've created. It's a brilliant look at a decadent future, where hope is a more rare commodity than surgery. The music is dark and sweeping, heavy and aggressive. The film makers goal was to try and change how people look at opera and musicals in general. How they can be made into a current and interesting media that can draw in new fans. While watching this isn't going to make me suddenly want to see Madame Butterfly, it certainly makes me interested in seeing more films of this nature. I love dark stories about dark and hopeless futures. Fuck, put it to music. As long as it's done right, you've got my eye. And this film does it right. So go and by copies of Repo! The Genetic Opera for yourself and all your friends, then Testify! So few awesome and original movies like this come out anymore that we need to support the ones that do. Remind studios that we don't want to watch just formulaic romantic comedies or whatever the new Vin Diesel vehicle is. Repo! The Genetic Opera may not be the future of film, but it's defiantly one of the horsemen to herald in a new dawn.

FOX Follows The Formula, Picks Up AbFab

FOX is jumping on the bandwagon of picking up British shows and recasting them for an American audience. Looks like FOX has ordered a Pilot of Absolutely Fabulous, the Brit show that focused on a drunken Fashion Publicist, Edina and a drunken editor, Patsy.

Jennifer Saunders who wrote and stared in the original is on board as an executive producer. Chirstine Zander is writing the remake. The remake will take place in Los Angeles.

I never really got into this show, but in college I knew so many people that loved it. I guess it just never made me give a shit, but with the success of other Brit import, The Office, I'll give anything a chance.

AbFab joins other new FOX comedies in production; Walorsky, Two Dollar Beer, Sons of Tucson and The Station. Looks like comedies rein supreme.

Don't Start the Healing, Just Finish the Hurt

Leiahdorus is a synthpop band from Alberque, New Mexico. I got my first introduction to them years ago at the Red Lion Inn in Salt Lake City, Utah. Darkwave musician James D. Stark had asked me if I wanted to go with him to the first annual SynthPop Fest put on by Todd Durrant's A Different Drum label, and having recently had a hard go of things, I decided a change of scenery would be a pretty good plan. Among the many amazing bands I saw that weekend were Leiahdorus. While they have two studio albums and are currently working on a third, slated to come out fairly soon, I decided to do a write up on the one that got me into them. The first album, Ashes Ashes.

Since first hearing this album I've thought the perfect venue to listen to it would be driving the Pacific Coast Highway in Washington in the fall. This is another band that really knows how to set a mood and a soundscape. While the term SynthPop can conjure up a lot of different preconceptions, Leiahdorus seems to claim a unique niche in the genre that no other band I've heard quite fills. Sometimes hopeful, but often moody, the band dances back and forth between more driving dance beats and soulful piano ballads. It's music in a very specific vein. Also, SynthPop isn't really known for great lyrics, and this is again where Leiahdorus bucks the trend. Songs like Indigent, Wake, Dissection of Man, and Comearound bring you into singer/keyboardist Jason Smith's world of hope and longing. You feel like he's trying to tell you a story, more than just writing lyrics to fit a dance beat, which so often seem to be the case in SynthPop.

Probably the most pop song on the album, Indigent, is also the first single from it. A high and bright beat lights up dancefloors while the over-riding tone of the lyrics are about entering manhood and being overwhelmed. The song also has a very industrial style breakdown at about the halfway point, a great choice. This, like many Leiadorus songs seems to be a love song, but unlike many lovesongs of the past it doesn't necessarily wear it's heart on its sleeve. It seems like Jason wants to write songs outside of the lovesong niche, but just loves someone so much that he can't not throw it in there at some point. The album follows with another strong point, the song Wake. Again one of the more pop tracks on the album it seems like it should be an older song than it is. Listening to it feels like putting on an old sweater, I like that about it. It's also the track where the album name comes from, having the hook, "Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down, Sooner Or Later We All Fall Down". The last song I'll mention is the penultimate one, Comearound. A slow, heartfelt ballad in which Jason seems to give of himself. I've had a lot of drunken nights where this track really hit the spot for me.

Leiahdorus have existed in one form or another since 1998. The current lineup is Jason Smith (vocals/keyboards), Fox Fletcher (guitar), Darla VanWinkle (keyboards), and Ryan Goodman (drums). The band signed to A Different Drum after fellow New Mexican Joey Belville from The Echoing Green came across one of their demos and gave it to label head Todd Durrant. You can visit their website at www.leiahdorus.com. I would highly recommend checking them out. Leiahdorus has quickly become one of my favorite go to bands. They have a sound that I find unique to themselves and consistently put out quality material. So go pick up Ashes Ashes and the follow up Parallel Universe. That should tide you over until the new album drops.

Gears of War the Movie

Len Wisemen is again in the news. Looks like he and Chris Morgan (Wanted) are working together to script a movie version of Gears of War.

Seems as though Wisemen first got wind of Gears of War while working on Live Free or Die Hard. He was asked to pick a game to have in the background of Kevin Smiths basement and after reviewing a bunch, picked Gears of War because he thought it looked really cool. So cool in fact that he then purchased a xBox 360 just to get into the game.

Also it seems as though Wiseman has a more Sci-Fi plan for the game. Being more of a Sci-Fi fan than horror, he wants the movies to have a more Lord of the Rings feel with a harder edge. Oh, and he wants to make, also like Lord of the Rings, a trilogy.

So, I'm defiantly going to be following this one. Hope when and if I finally see Marcus Fenix on the big screen it's all I want it to be.

Battlestar Galactica Lyrics

For those of you hardcore fans, I'm sure you already know this.  

I was dicking around online the other day after watching hours upon hours of Battlestar Galactica, and it occurred to me, I have no idea what they're saying in all those songs they play.  So I did what any industrious man would do.  Looked one up and took their word for it.  Seems that the lyrics are in Italian, and they are way weirder than I ever could have thought.

These are the lyrics to The Battlestar Operetica;

Woe upon your Cylon heart

There's a toaster in your head

and it wears high heels

Number Six calls to you

The Cylon Detector beckons

Your girlfriend is a toaster

Woe upon your Cylon Heart

Alas, disgrace! Alas, sadness and misery!

The toaster has a pretty dress

Red like it's glowing spine

Number Six whispers:

"By your command"

Woe upon your Cylon heart

Battlestar Galactica is a weird ass show.

A Look At How Fox Covered The First Day Of The Obama Administration

This is really not a political site but I thought this was too funny not to share. Do you kind of feel like you're watching The Onion when you watch Fox "News?" I do. Enjoy.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Fox News Fear Imbalance

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Grey's Jumps the Shark

Jump the Shark: Original meaning was the point when a television series shows it has run out of ideas and must resort to stunts to retain viewer interest. Derived from a scene in the last years of Happy Days when the Fonz waterskied over a shark. Includes actions such as "it was all a dream" episodes, live episodes, lead actors playing guest characters, and putting entire cast into a parody of some pop cultural event. - from urbandictionary.com

Well, I'll admit it, I've been a fan of Grey's Anatomy since it's debut in '05. It certainly has had it's share of ups and downs over the last four plus seasons, but for the most part it has been a solid tv drama. Ratings have not been a problem, and it's certainly a must see anyone wanting to get in on water-cooler talk with the female gender over the last few years.

All that being said, enough is enough.

Season 5; Episode 12: Stairway to Heaven. Aired this past Thursday, 1/22, shall forever be known as when Dr. Meredith Grey and friends essentially hopped behind a motor boat and jetted themselves over a shark filled pond.

Why? Here's why.

(a) Izzy has been trying to dump her dead boyfriend, Denny. In this episode he explains that he can't just leave. He can't go to heaven, he can't go to hell. Why? Well, it turns out that she's sick, and that he knew. But he still just won't go away. HE'S FUCKING DEAD!!!!!! Stop soaping it up.

(b) Dr. Sloan, aka "McSteamy," has always been the over-sexed, wanted by all the women, plastic surgeon expert. He still is. Only this week, while having sex with a young intern doc.....he breaks his dick. Yes, his dick gets broke while having this hottie ride him. I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on T.V. I don't know if it's actually medically possible for someone to break their dick, but it seems somewhat unlikely.

(c) Multiple Dr.'s collude to essentially kill a death row inmate, a serial killer, so that they can use his organs to save a dying kid. Noble, yes. Even somewhat realistic.....not at all!

I wish I could say I was planning on canceling my season pass on my DVR, but I won't. I have loyalty issues. As in, I am far more loyal to tv shows than I have ever thought about being to a woman. So, I will painfully stick with this show until it is over. I doubt it can turn back from this shark jumping to regain my respect again, but maybe it can be entertaining at the least.

Burton to Return to Student Film

It looks like Tim Burton is thinking of returning to his student film days. John August, who is currently writing the treatment for the Preacher movie, was recently approached by Burton to work up a script based on his 1984 student film, Frankenweenie.

Frankenweenie is a cute black and white film, about a boy who revives his dog from the dead, Frankenstein style, after he's been hit by a car. It's a well done little short with a lot of heart.

Looks like Burton is getting his hands in a lot of pots lately. I recently saw the trailer for 9, the new film that Burton is producer on from the director of Nightmare Before Christmas. Looked really interesting. And don't forget that we're only a year away from Tim's take on Alice in Wonderland.

Underworld, Now A Dissapointing TV Show

The great potential, but can't quite get it right Underworld franchise might jump from the big screen to the small one. At the premiere of Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, Len Wiseman talked with Bloody-Disgusting about the possibility of the continuation of the war between Lycans and Death Dealers.

"There's a lot of talk about a television series, I'm looking into that. If I could be very involved and can be a certain way, I'd be very interested in that. We had always hoped to do a trilogy, now that we completed that trilogy, it's kind of open. If people can join us and go back in time - and then leap forward, I'd like to go jump all across the time line." - Wiseman

Well, Ok. Hopefully it would be a show on either HBO or Showtime. Can't see any of the majors doing very well with it. But who knows, maybe what they've been missing in theaters will translate well to TV. I'll try anything six or seven times before I give up completely.

The Curious Case.....

I haven't seen the latest Brad Pitt vehicle yet. Or have I!!!!!!!!!

check this out......

The Curious Case of Forrest Gump - watch more funny videos

Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 New Info about Laurie Strode

While Malcom McDowell has yet to be confirmed to return to Haddonfield, Scout Taylor-Compton (Laurie Strode) has. Scout will reprise her role in the sequel as was recently learned in a Rob Zombie sit down with Icons of Fright blogger Tim Sullivan.

“Now she’s not the happy-go-lucky girl, now she’s a very f**ked-up famous person, trying to make sense of this,” Zombie tells the site. “It takes place over some time, but it starts that night… [In] the first one, Laurie has no idea what just happened. But then she wakes up the next day and someone’s going, ‘Oh, by the way, your parents are dead. All your friends are dead. And actually, your brother is, uh, Charles Manson.’ [Laughs] You know? ‘How do you feel about that?’ Because that’s really the place that she’s in. Everyone she knows is basically dead, and she is related to the person that did it all and doesn’t even know who the f**k she is. So it’s really the journey of figuring out who she is.” Says Zombie.

With McDowell in limbo on the role, Zombie has stated that he would not continue with a Dr. Loomis with out him. The entirety of the interview can be found at http://www.iconsoffright.com/SHOCK_07.htm

Scream 4

This one's been floating around off and on for a bit, but it looks as if it actually is going forward. Scuttlebutt is that Scream 4 is currently being written by Kevin Williamson. While much of the story and who would or wouldn't be involved is still up in the air, David Arquette spoke to TMZ yesterday after the inauguration.

"There's big talk about it now, not just on the Internet." says Arquette of the film, "there's actual calls being made."

It has been rumored that Wes Craven might return to direct and that offers have been made to Arquette, Courtney Cox Arquette and Neve Campbell to reprise their old roles as cameos in the film. Who knows what, if any, the final product will be, but I'd love to see them do another one. I have mixed feelings on the Scream films overall, but for the most part I like them. And I love what they helped do for the horror genre. So let's get another one going. Hopefully it'll give the industry another good kick in the ass.

Dangerous Women

Three of the original Ladies of The Evil Dead have a new web show. Ellen Sandweiss, Theresa Tilly and Betsy Baker return in Dangerous Women.

The show premieres on Thursday, January 22 on Strike.TV. The three women will use their real names for the show, as it will focus on them as suburban moms. On top of the already difficult duties of raising children and keeping their households going, they have to deal with their own evil doppelgangers. The first show, Heart in a Box, will reveal the series format of four to seven minute webisodes each ending in a cliffhanger.

The show is written by David O'Malley and directed by Lee Miller. Good luck, lady's. This sounds awesome!

It's Hard To Be Cynical Today

Things are quiet here today at The Nothing Files. We, like most of you, have been glued to our televisions watching history. And tonight we are going to celebrate in true Nothing Files fashion, by attending the late show of My Bloody Valentine 3D. Hey, just because the world just changed, it doesn't mean we have. Good night and good luck.

Series Review: Veronica Mars

A few months back I posted a review of the first season of Veronica Mars. This will be more my thoughts on the full series. I found a great deal on these DVD's, and after months of Thom telling me what a great show this was, I gave in and got them. I am so not unhappy that I did.

Veronica Mars began on UPN and ended on The CW. That first turned me off. I don't like that channel. But hey, this show was by far the exception to the rule. The series was created by Rob Thomas (not the guy from Matchbox Twenty) and followed Kristen Bell as Veronica Mars. Mars is the daughter of former sheriff Keith Mars who has gone on to become a private investigator. Though still in high school, Veronica is a smart kid who helps her dad with many of his cases. She even begins to use what she's learned from him to follow her own leads and take on cases of her own. This is a plot that easily could have not worked. With the fictitious town of Neptune, where the show is set, basically being Beverly Hills, some show about rich kids and a smart, kind-of-outcast-but-not, PI girl really could have sucked. Just like a show about how a girl in high school that ends up being a super hero that slays vampires doesn't sound the best on paper. But much like Buffy, this series lies in its dialogue and character development.

One of the great things about the show is that even seemingly ancillary characters, sometimes even from previous seasons, end up returning and having pretty big plot points. That's what made the show succeed so well. Rather than having a lot of new characters always showing up and making the viewers try to figure them out, they pulled from an already introduced well of characters to advance stories. And for the most part keep the individuals true to themselves. The mousy kid from season one didn't grow a backbone and become an extrovert. He kind of grew a backbone and stayed fairly quiet and reserved. This philosophy made the characters seem more real and believable, which really helped keep you in the Veronica Mars world.

Another great point of this show was the overarching plots that would span entire seasons. On top of the episode to episode whodunit's you have a mystery that you're given clues to in almost every episode. These brilliantly written overarching plots took you through twists and turns within the story and cast even the most established characters as hero's or villains. No one was safe in the Veronica Mars world, and just like in real life, the show gave you reasons to love and to hate almost all of it's inhabitants. The final episodes of the seasons tied up most of the plot points from the season long arch, usually ending in a place that you wouldn't expect.

A nice point that this show is on DVD now is the cliffhangers that end almost every episode. I can't tell you how many times I sat down to watch just one episode then head to bed, only to find that it's 5am and I'm forcing myself into bed, even though I really need to know what happened. The show just moves so fast, it really draws you in. One of my only complaints on the show happens right after UPN became The CW. The third season doesn't start great. It took me almost until mid-season to get back into the show. I know that The CW was pushing to have the show get away from the overarching plots and do more of the episode by episode stories, but I found myself for the first time watching the show not caring. They managed to bring me back, but it was kind of some crap for awhile there.

In 2007 Veronica Mars was put on permanent hiatus by The CW. Which is sad. There is so much tripe on TV right now. Most networks are going to almost exclusive reality/gameshow lineups, as the scripted show falls to the wayside. ABC just announced that it wants to bring the family comedy back. They're remiss they don't have a Rosanne or a Home Improvement anymore and want that. Well, good luck. Here was a show that had action, drama, comedy and mystery and was smartly written and acted, and it couldn't make it. Another show by an established name at FOX, Joss Whedon, is about to get buried in a Friday timeslot. That's right. The much anticipated Dollhouse will be flying to DVD shelves near you after getting canceled because no one watches TV on Friday nights. Good work FOX. With the bearshare of quality TV coming from cable channels like FX or pay channels like HBO, you can really see the dawn of the end of quality programing from the big four (ABC, NBC, FOX, CBS). With smart shows being passed over for cheaper and easier to produce reality and gameshows the future looks bleak. Hopefully your pay stations and extend cable channels will keep hitting home runs with shows like Flight of the Conchords, Nip/Tuck and Rescue Me. So let's look to the past to great shows like Veronica Mars. They may have ended well before their time, but with how inexpensive DVD boxed sets are becoming, we can relive the excitement that they had.

Hatchet II

Anchor Bay's highest selling original title of all time is in the shoot for a sequel. Adam Green talks with the guys at Bloody-Disgusting about how there is nothing but plans to get this film made, and that the studio and cast want him to again sit in the chair to direct the film. Green also states that he cannot contractually commit to a sequel right now because of some other crap that he's commited to. While his company ArieScope and Anchor Bay want him to do the film, if it comes time for the film to be made, and he cannot be the one, he will gladly allow some other director to step up.

Great! I really liked Hatchet. I've heard reviews all over the board on this one, but I think it's a great film. The only reason we haven't done a podcast on it is because Thom hasn't found the time to check it out yet. Something about how it's in some watch now queue... Anyway, I like that there are new original slasher films coming out these days. With everything, literally, everything being a remake of something previous, it's great to see film makers with the balls to give us new villains to get behind. You never know, today's Victor Crowley and Lesley Vernon could be tomorrows Freddy Kruger's and Jason Voorhees'. It's good to see some film makers looking forward instead of back.

The Pull Box #3

Okay. So it's Monday. I know I promised that this column would come out every Wednesday. Well let me clarify that statement for you. By "every Wednesday," what I really meant was every Wednesday or maybe the Monday after that aforementioned Wednesday. I can see how you got confused. It's okay. I'm not going to hold it against you. So let's jump in. 

Final Crisis #6: Yawn. I wish this would just go away. Anyway. This is DC's big event of last summer. And it's January. And this is number 6 of 7. And I still don't know what's going on. Grant Morrison stopped being amazing years ago. I can't really put my finger on when. Probably when he was writing his X-men run over at Marvel and that whole Xorn-Magneto thing. I still have no idea what that was about. Now I have no idea what this is about. Here. Watch me write like Grant Morrison.

Obscure Superhero from 35 Years Ago: "The singularity is collapsing upon itself. The Meta-formula can't hold unless you eat this anti-fudge from Refrigerator Zero. Crowley never suspected that we buried Refrigerator Zero at Stonehenge six hundred and sixty-six years in the future. But the Blue Bandit, the savior of the nth dimension, has retrieved it. Now eat it, bitch!"

Obscure Super-heroine from 47 Years Ago: "If it will save the multiverse, and bring back the Horse Armies of Neptune, I will. In case, it kills me, let me tell you, I love you."

Wonder Woman: "Slut."

See? Dead on. Now imagine 6 issues of this. Yeah. It sucks. Oh and Batman dies in this issue. What you thought he died in Batman R.I.P. a couple months back? Yeah, so did I. But apparently, that exploding helicopter and fall into the Gotham River didn't kill him. Even though everyone in the book acted like it did. The scuttlebutt is he climbed out of the river and did everything in Final Crisis. Don't ask me. DC is just trying to sell more books. I definitely think they're going downhill. I'm not a DC fanboy, but if I were, I'd be demanding that Editor in Chief of DC Comics, Dan Didio step down. I mean, crap is crap. Moving on.

Locke and Key Head Games #1: This is the second Locke and Key series from writer Joe Hill. And I didn't pick it up. I tried to pick up the trade of the first series but it wasn't out yet. So why is this on the list? Because Joe Hill is the author of the favorite book I read last year. It was called "Heart Shaped Box," and was about a retired rock star who starts getting tormented by ghosts from his past, and it's flat out disturbing and scary. So pick that up. It's in paperback. Oh, and Joe Hill is Stephen King's son. Which is an interesting tidbit but really has nothing at all to do with the book. Anyways...

Terminator Salvation Movie Prequel #1: The trailer to this movie looks way better than anything directed by McG should and has me pretty stoked to see it. So I picked up the comic and I've actually read it. Basically it was a lot of set up, but there was some cool Terminator versus human action. It definitely felt gritty enough to be part of the Terminator 'verse. I'll be there for #2.

Incognito #1: This is by Ed Brubaker and if you've read this column before, you know about my man crush on Ed Brubaker. I think what I basically said was if Frank Miller was still Frank Miller today, he'd be Ed Brubaker. And after reading this issue, that statement couldn't be more true. This book starts out with disgruntled paper clerk. He hates his job. He hates his life. Things are bleak. Slowly throughout this book you discover more and more about this character and his world. The first thing you find out is that he's in the witness protection program. Then you find out that he used to have powers. As in super powers. Then you find out that he used to be a super villain and that he doesn't have powers anymore because the government mandates that he takes a drug to suppress them. After an incident at the company Christmas party, he decides that he can't continue existing as he is. I'll stop the synopsis here. Just know that this book is great and dark and violent and the main character is definitely morally ambiguous. On the letters page, Ed Brubaker writes in big, black letters, "The secret ingredient is pulp." And Incognito is as pulpy as they come.

So that was it this week. My stack was short. Mmmm. Short stack. Mmmmm. Pancakes. I'm going to go get some food. And you need to go support your local comic book store.

Piranha 3-D

The good guys over at Bloody-Disgusting recently had a talk with Alex Aja, and the 3-D remake of Piranha came up.

"I Just came back from the stage where we are finishing all the preproduction on Piranha. We were supposed to shoot in the fall, but for reasons like not being able to shoot the movie under the water in winter or fall and for location reasons, we had to push back to spring." -Aja

Now that the film has been pushed back, Aja is planning on having a full 3-D trailer for it in front of Final Destination 4. When My Bloody Valentine 3-D hits today, none of the trailers before it will be in a 3-D format. Aja is excited because his trailer will be in 3-D, and "it will blow your mind!" So go go 3-D horror films. Can't wait to catch My Bloody Valentine and weigh in on this new trend.

Strangeland: Disciple

In the ten years since former Twisted Sister frontman Dee Snider's Strangeland, I haven't heard much from the guy. But he's not going quietly into the night to let Rob Zombie be the only rocker making movies. Oh, no. Que Strangeland: Disciple.

Snider will reprise his role as Captain Howdy, the tall body-moded killer from the first film. Snider promises a NC-17 rating from the get go. The film will again take place in the behind the scenes underworld of body modification fetishists. No other word on what else Snider will include in the film, but I'm sure he'll be reaching for the stars. Snider has written a script and is hoping to start production this year.

Hack/Slash

I've been hearing about this one left and right for some time, so I've been hesitant to post about it. But the persistence of the rumors have forced my hand...

Word on the nets is that there are plans in the works to movieaphy Tim Seeley and Stefano Caselli's amazing comic series Hack/Slash. The comic follows Cassie Hack and her bodyguard/best friend Vlad, a mountain of a man-thing who usually wears a gas mask. Cassie and Vlad roam the countryside trying to find and kill Slashers. Think Buffy if it were dirtier and sexier. Plus Cassie fights big name Slashers too. Chuckie and Dr. Herbert West, The Reanimator, have been previous villains that Cassie has fought. Cassie is also the only comic book character to be a SuicideGirl. Cassie is driven to kill Slashers after her single mother became one, and Cassie was forced to shoot her head off, to save her classmates. It's a dark and funny comic, with just enough drama to keep you interested. It's pretty much the shit.

Flash to this movie business. With the popularity of even horrible comic book movies these days properties are getting picked up left and right. Marvel is talking about a Thor movie, and then there's that Avengers film that is eternally in the ether (and Samuel L. Jackson's involvement now up in the air for both the Avengers film and Iron Man 2). But I keep hearing about this Hack/Slash project, and most interestingly, Megan Fox wants the title role of Cassy Hack. The Transformers, Jennifer's Body actress really likes the character and certainly has the look to pull it off. I'd love to see a dark and gritty film, with a driven heroine and obsessed villains. Who knows how far this will get off the ground but with the ever expanding star power that Fox brings to the table, this one could get done. I know I'd look forward to it.

Resident Evil

Resident Evil. My favorite game series of all time. Just hearing the crappy, kind of spooky voiceover guy say the title gets me all worked up. And for Xbox 360 users, it's time to again enter the world of survival horror.

As early as Friday, January 16th, a new High-Def trailer for the game will be available as downloadable content. Following that, on Monday, January 26th, an exclusive demo will be available. From what I hear the demo will be the first two levels of the game. In the demo you will be able to play as a one player/AI mode, two player split-screen or two player online. Damn. That's enough to make me get out of bed and just sit counting the days.

When the March 13th release date hits, Resident Evil 5 will pick up with series mainstay, Chris Redfield. His adventures land him in Africa where bio terrorism has turned people and animals into mindless killing machines. He and his new partner, Sheva Alomar, must work together to stay alive and unravel this new plot.

I can't wait for this game. Resident Evil 4 is one of the only games I've literally done everything that could be done. From all weapon upgrades to every bottle cap, I did it all. I've rocked these games since RE1 hit for the original Play Station. So fans of horror, get your shit together. Resident Evil 5 is about to rock your gaming world.

Jackie Chan As Mr Miyagi

Jackie Chan is in final talks with Columbia Pictures to play the reverential Mr. Miyagi in Harald Zwart's The Karate Kid remake.

Chris Murphy has penned the script which will follow Jaden Smith (Will Smiths son) in his role of the Daniel character. Though the film will be set in the Orient and filmed in Beijing, it will have some plot elements that will be familiar to fans of the original film. The bullied kid that learns to do a crane kick and never sweep the legs from his strange, former taxi driver, mentor. Or something like that. No word yet on what if any significance the Cobra Kai will have in the film, But I'm hoping it's massive. Until this one drops, remember, mercy is for the weak. An enemy deserves no mercy!

Romero's The Crazies Getting The Remake

The classic 1973 George A. Romero film, The Crazies is getting the remake treatment. Timothy Olyphant has been cast as the town sheriff and Radha Mitchell will be his wife. Breck Eisner will direct the new film.

The Crazies was a great, very Romero, movie about a small town that is effected by military biotoxins getting into their water supply. Upon consumption, the townsfolk start to go quite nuts, hence, The Crazies.

Romero will be serving this movie as executive producer. The release date is set for September 25th.

More H2 Casting News

As I'm sure you can garner from the picture, the casting confirmation we're most excited about is Danielle Harris. The Halloween 4, 5 and Remake alum will reprise her roll as Laurie Strode's hottest friend, Annie Brackett in H2. Daniel Roebuck will return as Lou Martini, and Mark Christopher Lawerence will be back as Deputy King, member of the Haddonfield police. Jeff Daniel Phillps has also joined the cast. You probably best know him as the Caveman from those Geico commercials. Yep, he'll be Howard Boggs, bouncer of The Rabbit in Red Club.

No words yet on if Zombie has officially begun principle photography yet, but just naming the return of so many of the actors from the first has me excited already.

Some Guy Named Allen, Who Goes By the Name Michael, Talking About 2009 and Stuff

Hello, everyone out there in the vast Internets. This is Thom. Tonight, I'd like to introduce you to a new contributer to The Nothing Files. His name is Allen but he answers to Michael (don't ask) and he'll be dropping by from time to time to review movies, television shows, video games or just to post news. That's him on the left. Yeah, he's dressed as a Thunder Cat. And no. I have no fucking idea why. So let's give a big Nothing Files welcome to Michael. 

My name is Michael and I’m friends with Thom and Nick. This is my cross and I bear it of my own volition. Up until now I wanted absolutely nothing to do with this Nothing Files. It’s a shady, fly-by-night operation , if you ask me. But I was oh so tired of hearing the both of them complain about content. Lack of content. We need more content. Since you are reluctant to provide us with the location of your content, I have decided to test this station’s destructive power on your…content. So, here I am. Content-provider. And seeing as how I lack a fancy podcast, recording equipment, or d-bag partner to quip off of, I’m going to tell you what I think is awesome, terrible, and disgusting for this next year right here.

Mr. Orange (Good)-

1. Battlestar Galactica- This show is amazing and it’s half a season (the 4th) from being over. But that’s not what I’m happy about. I’m happy that one of the most intelligent, well-written, and entertaining television shows of the past fifteen years is being allowed to reach it’s natural conclusion. I, honestly, don’t watch that much live broadcast television anymore. I’ve grown so disgusted at falling in love with a show, watching the characters and plot points grow and intersect, seeing the third act on the horizon, only to have it cancelled before it’s and, damn it, my time. Angel. Carnivale. Firefly (Damn you, FOX.) Roswell. Deadwood. The list goes on. Please don’t get me wrong, if I had my choice I’d be paying $60 for season 37, in which a senile Starbuck finally discovers the “master” Cylon and why the humans cut the corners off of everything. But for now, I’ll take my legitimate conclusion, brought to me with love and tears, by the same people that brought me my miniseries/pilot. I (will) might cry, that is until…

2. Caprica- From all the rumors (i.e. this pilot episode script, http://www.docstoc.com/docs/3244940/Script-Caprica-wwwseriesaddictfr) this show will be a continuation of everything I love about BSG except, maybe, the space part. I know this seems like a huge deal, deal-breaker deal even, but the fact that BSG is science fiction isn’t why I like it. I like the characters, the story, and the fact that it’s a television show that deals with modern day politics, religion, and war with a fabulist attitude. Caprica is posed to do the same. If this script even slightly resembles the final product then we are looking forward to a pilot episode’s worth of controversial ideas and ideals. And Eric Stoltz. I’m stoked.

3. Lost- Tied with BSG as my favorite show of the past 5 years (potentially ever, I’m constantly at odds with my own good taste.) Again, a show that focuses more on plot and story development than ass jokes and hot chicks. Although, I’ve heard and seen both following this show over the seasons. I once tried to create a Lost notebook. Just a collection of character connections and repeated details…I stopped fifteen minutes in. This show is the most joyfully complicated and frustrating thing I have ever seen. And that’s why I love it. Sawyer got drunk with Jack’s dad before he yelled at Claire (Jack’s unbeknownst step-sister)? Yes, please. Dear J.J. Abrams, I know you’re remaking Star Trek and that gives me a nerd-boner, but before that you made Lost. You’re the best. Love, Michael. P.S. Brian K. Vaughn, you kick total ass too.

Mr. Blonde (Bad)-

1. Fast and the Furious- I will not lie to you. I own The Fast and the Furious. I was 16 at the time of purchase. Cars meant something. Going fast meant something. Being furious…also meant something. Then I grew up. Or more succinctly, out, of bad taste. I found girls, actors who weren’t too high or Vin Diesel-y to watch onscreen, and I stopped caring about spoilers and neon- pink running lights. NOS became a mixer with my Jagermeister as oppossed to something I thought should spew from my tail-pipe. I don’t want this movie. You don’t want this movie. But somewhere, some kid wants, maybe needs this movie. And after it’s all over I’ll buy him a Jagerbomb and kick him in the balls. Queer.

2. Race to Witch Mountain- This is a remake of Escape from Witch Mountain. Before Star Wars, before the Force, I knew you could move things with your mind. And now They are remaking my epiphany with a movie starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. They are cruel bastards.

Nothing Files Episode 6 is Out

That's right everyone. The Nothing Files Episode 6 is out like Neil Patrick Harris. Is this the episode where Thom's dog barks? Will Nick use big words that may or may not exist? Will Thom mangle many seemingly easy to pronounce words? Will they look back to 2008's best movies, video games, and music releases? Will they look ahead to 2009? Will the boys curse, drink and argue like an old, alchoholic married couple? There's only one way to find out, dear readers. Go to iTunes and download Episode 6! And don't forget to subscribe! And tell your friends! Thank you and good night. And by the way, that picture of William Shatner has absolutely nothing to do with this post. He's just badass. And he has a big gun. And he might shoot you. Especially if you don't download episode 6. So you better download it. Or BLAM!! You might just get hit with an onomatopoeia.